Tickles and Time Outs

Saving Gas Money

2012-02-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

1. Staycation or vacation close to home this summer.
2. Bike riding to destinations close by can be a great way to get our family to exercise (and save money at the same time).
3. Consider taking the train or using a smaller car whenever possible.
4. Use a website like gas buddy.com (which is also available for the Droid users) to find the lowest gas price near you or download an app like SmartFuel.
5. Sit down and look at your budget to see other ways you can save money. Make it fun and challenge yourselves to see who can save the most money. Cutting out coffee shops, cutting coupons, and calling cable companies for their latest deal are the most popular ways to save cash fast.

Did you see us on channel 10 NBC?

2012-02-21T06:53:00.000-08:00

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/video/#!/on-air/as-seen-on/Interview-with-the-Mommy-Blogger/114168369

Cleanliness Gone Too Far?

2012-02-21T06:32:00.000-08:00

I tell my daughter all the time that if she wants her toys to be good to her, she has to be good to them. I believe this to be true. A clean house is a good thing. Keeping things organized and clean is a great habit to teach our kids and allows them to be able to use their toys for a long time. Also, if things are organized than we know where the toys are, what needs to be tossed, rotated, or most importantly what we should enjoy! But if our BIGGEST concern is cleanliness than we might be accidentally sending our children a message that they are not important.

I know for me personally, it's easy to focus on putting things away, organizing, or cleaning the bathroom. It's tangible, I can see the results, and it sparkles!!! It's something I have complete control over....but the real question is, is it really a problem if the bathroom sink has some toothpaste on it or is it more important to get on the floor and spend quality time with my child playing that matching game for the millionth time? If I stay awake til midnight cleaning the kitchen floor or organizing the basement, I may be short tempered and impatient with my child in the morning (perhaps sending mixed messages to my family about what it most important to me). If I'm cleaning out the fridge instead of going to bed with my husband at night, am I accidentally making him feel unimportant or unappreciated?

If you find yourself obsessing over a clean house, maybe it's time to shift your focus toward taking pride in how much time your spending with the children and let go of the household checklist a little. The results of spending quality time with the children (or husband) may not be as obvious as that perfectly organized playroom but the impact is a greater one! Your child will feel that they are more important than the pieces of cracker in the corner of the living room floor or how organized the tupperware drawer looks. The outcome may not shine like the windows in the front of your house but the quality time spent with you husband or child may be a lasting memory that they will hold onto for years to come.

Helping Children Through Divorce

2012-02-15T14:19:00.055-08:00

There's no getting around it...divorce is very challenging, especially when children are involved. But many well rounded, happy, and successful people evolve from a broken family. SO, how is it done? I found a great article from
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/children_divorce.htmlwhich offers some great ideas and tools for parents who are trying to make divorce as easy as possible on their children. Many parents struggle with trying to keep their differences with their spouses separate from their relationship with their children.

Recently, many celebrities are appearing to be "happily divorced" and appear to make the best of the situation. What can these celebrities teach us? Well, we know they think twice before talking badly about each other in public (no trash tweeting) and they manage to find the things that they like about each other and make the best of those attributes. Courtney Cox and David Arquette work together on the set and off the set as a team. Are they perfect? No, of course not! Divorce is not easy and everyone makes mistakes but from what it looks like, they know how to work together despite their divorce.

Are you a step mother in a blended family? Dating or marrying someone who has been divorced and has children can be very challenging as well. Here are some websites that may help you with some of your challenges..

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/blended_families_stepfamilies.htm

http://stepmomsos.com/

http://www.familycorner.com/parenting/step/sacrifices.shtml

Top 5 Habits of Happy Mothers

2012-02-10T13:28:00.000-08:00

1. Working part time outside the house (yes, it's a fact...the happiest mothers work park time)
2. Setting aside time for yourself every week (or every day)
3. Being willing to be a "good enough mom"
4. Being able to divide your time effectively without multitasking constantly (Face it...you are human and can't do 10 things at one time! There are times when complete focus is essential in order to be successful!)
5. Being able to communicate your needs effectively and delegate tasks to others

Creating a Family Business Plan

2012-02-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

One of Hollywood’s biggest couples, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, has appeared to survive the stress of Hollywood. We think our lives are stressful, but how do they manage along with two huge careers and a whole lot of media attention?

Oprah recently interviewed this amazing couple and they revealed some interesting ideas about how they view the family unit. First of all, they have designed a family business plan. I am a huge fan of goals and plans so this definitely sparked my attention. They decided that they need a plan to “facilitate and encourage the individuality of their children.” What a great idea!! They also mentioned that they expect their children to find their own way to add to the family group, neighborhood, and humanity.

As a person who has ADD, I definitely think staying on a plan is helpful to stay focused on your priorities. If having a respectful, happy family is a priority than it makes perfect sense to have a plan so everyone is on the same page and knows their role and expectations.

So, how do Will and Jada keep the spark alive in their relationship? Check out this clip http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Jada-Pinkett-Smith-Talks-About-How-She-Keeps-the-Spark-Alive-Video. I have a hard time understanding how Jada Pinkett Smith has to work at being attractive to her spouse (considering she is so freakin’ beautiful!) but I’m sure every couple has challenges in this area at times in their relationship. It’s nice to know I’m not alone at having to work at keeping my sex life alive sometimes! But I believe that keeping your love alive as a couple, keeps the family alive as a whole.
Finally, the Smiths’ allowed their young daughter to shave the sides of her hair and shave a star design into it. Hmmm…If my daughter asked me if she could do that, how would I respond? That’s a tough one! Well, I would not be excited about it for sure, but isn’t it my job to encourage her to be proud of who she is, make her think she is beautiful no matter what, and encourage her to be creative? Will explained, “Your children can have as much ‘freedom’ as they can handle, then if they make a mistake you have to pull back those freedoms. Not necessarily in punishments, but revoke some freedoms.”

It’s a struggle to pick your battles when your children want something that you don’t especially like, but isn’t it our job to encourage individuality? After hearing the Smith’s perspective, I will think again when my daughter asks me for something I think is absolutely ridiculous.

I find this Hollywood couple to be such an inspiration to the everyday family. Although we look at them like they ‘have it made’, I am convinced that living in the spotlight has tremendous challenges. Although, every family has their problems, I really admire their motivation, devotion, and respect for one another and feel we can all learn from their ideas….I know I have!

Nate Berkus Show!

2012-02-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

I took a trip to NYC to see a taping of the Nate Berkus Show with some of my girlfriends! It was such a fun day and a great escape from my adorable kiddos!

Great Lesson to Help our Children Turn Frustration into Empathy

2012-01-27T10:37:00.000-08:00

My daughter Sienna is a very sensitive kid. Her anger seems to trigger more than most kids so I feel like I'm constantly trying to figure out whether to redirect, ignore, or give consequences to her explosive behaviors....ugh....it can be exhausting! Although she is a normal kid, I realize that the more I see her sensitivity as a good thing the easier it is to understand her behaviors and figure why she is acting out.
Here is a story about a kid who overcame one of his frustrations by doing something positive. Take a look!

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/awwww-read-seven-old-heart-melting-letter-kyle-214810120.html

Fun in the Snow

2012-01-22T18:32:00.000-08:00

Sienna and Wayne playing the the snow!

Fun Videos for Grade Schoolers

2012-01-22T17:03:00.000-08:00

Fun math games to play with your kids...
http://www.primarygames.com/math/skatermath/start.htm

Knock Knock Jokes...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL5fdJ1-iWg

Musical Valentine ECards to send to relatives....
http://postcards.primarygames.com/valentines.htm

Are We Having Fun Yet?

2012-01-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

Let's face it....

parenting is a lot of hard work and is often challenging...

but don't forget to

HAVE FUN!

Creative Parenting Tricks

2012-01-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

You know those times when your child says something to you that may be appropriate but is on the fence of being disrespectful? Kids are great manipulators and they like to see what they can get away with (even though it may be disrespectful). Here are three questions to ask your kids which will empower your kids without drawing a line in the sand!

1. TODDLER: Mommy, I want it now!!!"
    PARENT: "I'm not sure why you are talking that way?"
2. GRADE SCHOOL CHILD: Mom, you don't know anything!!"
    PARENT: "O.k...let's start this conversation over again. Let's turn this around!" Now stand up, turn around and sit back down again (and have your child do the same thing!)
3. CHILD: "My teacher is an idiot! She doesn't know anything!"
    PARENT: "Hmmm...what would you do if YOU were a teacher and YOU were trying to teach your students and they wouldn't listen to you?"

2012-01-11T11:26:00.000-08:00

I packed my husband's suitcase for his business trip! Do you think he will make it through security?

Funniest Baby Videos! A MUST see!

2012-01-10T13:25:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWHpcKXt-qQ&feature=endscreen&NR=1

What Can We Learn from Men about Parenting?

2011-12-28T07:50:00.000-08:00

Men often get a bad rap when it comes to parenting and homemaking but what can we learn from them? I think the biggest thing we can learn from men is how to compartmentalize and be in the moment. Men don't often hold resentment, juggle 10 things, stay up at night trying to perfect a situation, or try to be a rock star every moment!
I have always complained about how my husband rests a lot when he's sick! I often say to myself, "when do I get the chance to be sick?". Well, this week I was sick and I acted like 'a man'. I locked myself in the bedroom for almost 24 hours and I let go of what was happening outside the room. To my surprise, it actually worked pretty well (and everyone survived without my expertise!). Instead of trying to do it all, I relaxed and focused on getting healthy. Hmmmm..
Another example of how men are good at compartmentalizing was something I saw on Good Morning America this morning. There was a segment about stay at home Dads and how they operate, go to playgroups, and support one another. One thing that stood out to me was that stay at home Dads tend to be more engaged with their kids than stay at home moms. I found this interesting because again, it shows that men are better at being focused and staying in the moment than women. So, the next time you are cursing (because you are feeling overwhelmed by trying to do it all) be a man and focus on one thing at a time!

Conquering the After Holiday Clutter

2011-12-27T11:37:00.000-08:00

If you are like me, you have a difficult time sitting down to relax when the room is covered with toys or in disarray. So, the holidays definitely bring some added clutter (to say the least). Here's what you should do..

If you have time off from work (or your husband has time off work) take advantage of the time to spend with family. Stop thinking about what you need to put on Craigslist, what you want to give to Goodwill or where you're going to find a home for all these toys. Instead, put a dent in the organization, but use the majority of your time to enjoy time with the kids, spouse, or yourself!

Day Off (Scenario 1)
Spend 4 hours organizing, trashing, and going through toys
Make lunch
Watch a t.v show
Spend 10 minutes playing with your children
Start laundry
Start dinner
Build resentment

Scenario 2
Spend 2 hours going through toys
Delegate some work to spouse or kids
Get a pedicure
Play with kids for 1 hour
Start dinner
Relax

Scenario 3
Spend 1 hour going through toys
Throw the rest of toys in the basement (out of sight, out of mind) and worry about it later
Play with kids for 1 hour
Lunch with a friend
Spend 1 hour going through toys with help from kids/spouse
Start dinner

What scenerio works best for you? What are your goals for the day? If your goal for the day is to completly reorganize the toy room than Scenerio One is probably the best (minus the resentment) but if you are trying to spend time with the family or get some needed time to yourself than DO IT! Now is the time! Don't worry...the pile of toys will be there later!

My Favorite Holiday Jokes!

2011-12-23T17:14:00.000-08:00

Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners? - Rude-alph!

What do elves learn in school? - The elf-a-bet

What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents? Silent nightWhat do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes!

What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas? - Sandy claws.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?Frostbite!

Where do snowmen go to dance? A snow ball!

How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack? Only one, after that it’s not empty any more!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitus!

What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow!

What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum – you can’t beat it!

Why was Santa's little helper depressed? He had low elf esteem!

Distracting or Rewarding Negative Behavior?

2011-12-22T11:13:00.000-08:00

If you're a parent than chances are you know that the skill of distraction can be very useful when parenting your child. When your child sees something that he wants (but can't have) it's often helpful to avoid the situation by showing your child something that is acceptable. However, we need to be careful when we are distracting that we are not accidentally rewarding negative behavior. Here's an example...

Sally is throwing a temper tantrum at the grocery store because she wants a toy and her Mom tells her that she can't have it. Her Mom gives her a cookie to distract her (inadvertently rewarding the negative behavior). While Sally's Mom feels that she is not giving into the behaviors becuase she didn't give her the toy, Sally is learning that if she throws a tantrum than she will get a treat.

Although distraction is often necessary (to avoid difficult situations) we need to be very careful about when and how we do it. It is very important that children learn that they can't always get what they want. Although it's difficult to say no when a temper tantrum might be the result, it's important that we teach our children healthy boundaries and not getting when you want is part of life.

Avoiding Power Struggles

2011-12-16T12:10:00.000-08:00

I have learned this lesson so many times and yet I continue to fall in the trap. You know the deal, there are many sayings that basically give the same message..."it takes 2 to tango" "letting someone live in your head rent free" or my favorite, "never wrestle with a pig in the mud, you will get dirty and the pig will like it." All of these sayings have the same message, you can choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution! So, what does this mean for you as a parent? We have choices!

Recently in the media, the producer of Two and a Half Men, Chuck Lorre, did his first interview since Charlie Sheen was fired. Despite all the drama that Charlie Sheen created in the media about the "feud" between him and Lorre, I was shocked to hear that Lorre believed there was no feud among him and Charlie Sheen. He fired Sheen and then continued with the show, never trying to mend the situation or clear the air. Basically, there was no air to clear because Lorre was focusing on other things. The feud was one that Sheen was having with himself! He could have chosen to be part of the drama Sheen was creating but instead he choose to step aside and focus other things. I think this is a great lesson for us all! SO, how can this be a lesson to parents?

Children often create "drama" to get attention or to avoid something they don't want to do. Basically, we have the choice as parents to argue or not to argue.

It takes two people to argue and children will argue if they can (or because they can):) Of course, some arguing (or discussing) is inevitable, but remember that children often do things because they CAN and if you participate than you may be contributing to the problem instead of the solution! The next time you find yourself in an argument with your child, try to figure out another way to solve the problem or evaluate your role in the situation! Sometimes, it really does take 2 to tango!

Here we go a charging, a charging, a charging....

2011-12-09T08:27:00.000-08:00

My husband and I were talking about Christmas the other day and he said, "well, you know we're up to close to $1,000.00 on Christmas already" I said "no way! I have been so good about finding deals and spending wisely!" Then it occurred to me (after I added everything up) that he was right!

I bought tickets for Disney Princesses on Ice with Sienna. I thought I was spending wisely because the coupon was for $18.00 each but when you add the fees, parking, and food....we could easily spend $100.00 on the entire thing. Then there's the presents, I don't have a large family but I really thing we need to start doing a Pollyanna because that ended up being about $500.00. Then there's Christmas cards, stamps, pictures with Santa, Christmas tree, wrapping paper, appetizers for Christmas eve (and of course stocking stuffers!) All of these things wouldn't be a problem if it was in our budget but we did not put away money in a Christmas savings account and so.....here we go charging.

SO, maybe I'm not the best example of how to save money this holiday season but what I am learning is how to place more importance on the true meaning of Christmas (spending time with family, looking at Christmas lights, and watching great Christmas shows) and less importance on Santa, what the Jones' have, and what people will think of me. Next year, I will try to spend wiser and remember that spending quality time with the people I love is what matters most!

Avoiding Drama this Holiday Season!

2011-11-21T12:20:00.000-08:00

I always say prepare, prepare, prepare (when it comes to your kids) well, today I'm saying prepare for your own sanity this holiday season!
It has happened quite often that I find myself stressing, fighting, or rearranging schedules to AVOID drama in the family and I end up creating my own!!! How did i end up all stressed out about this situation (I often ask myself) and yet the person or people that I am trying to avoid are actually enjoying their holiday while I'm upset sitting in the corner feeling sorry for myself!! Why do we do this to ourselves?
The answer is that it is a habit! Maybe you grew up with these dynamics and are used to these situations. But the good news is that there are ways that we can change these habits. It might feel a little uncomfortable at first but if we draw healthy boundaries we create the life we want (BONUS: people will gain a new respect for you!)
So this holiday season, why dance around other people's feelings and then let the "good 'ol resentment" build inside of us? It is possible to be kind but set boundaries (it's called being kind to yourself and your family!)So....you don't like going to your in laws every year for Thanksgiving? Change it to every OTHER year! Feel anxiety about your cousin being disrespectful in your home? Talk to them about it and decide if it's a good idea them to be there! Do you hate doing all the dishes while everyone watches the football game? Ask someone to help you then sit your hiney in a chair!

How to Create a Flawless and Fun Thanksgiving with Kids

2011-11-18T12:13:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving can be a crazy holiday for families-it is the busiest travel weekend of the year and lets be honest....it's the least favorite "kid" holiday. So, how do you make it fun for everyone and yet still be able to have a glass of wine and relax or catch that football game? Be prepared! Here's how...

1. Choose your battles. If you normally cater to your picky eater, it might not be a good idea to pick a formal sit down holiday dinner (with the entire family watching) to be the first time you make your child eat those green beans! You may want to bring a food they like with you or check out the menu before sitting down to the table. (This is why giving into the picky eater on a daily basis can put you into tough situations!)

2. Bring toys or games! If you are traveling with your family this holiday season, expect to wait in traffic (or airports) and have some back up plans such as cool new iphone games or some different books or toys that your child hasn't seen in a long time! Another great idea is to have your children pack their own favorite toys in a special book bag!

3. Involve the children in dinner preparation. Children love to feel involved so let them make place cards or set the table. Another great idea? Make the good 'ol turkey handprint by tracing their hand as a centerpiece!

4. Expect problems. I know I said 'flawless' but lets face it...that's impossible! If your trying to PLEASE your family by making an elaborate dinner from that fancy cookbook...guess what? Your toddler (or young kids) will probably not appreciate it and instead be acting out all day because you aren't around. So, if you would like to make an awesome dinner from scratch, ask a babysitter or family member to help you with the kids! Also, try to make naptimes as close to their normal schedule as possible and expect that things won't be perfect!

What Would Your Child Do?

2011-11-11T11:28:00.000-08:00

Did you know that most children who are sexually abused, are abused by a family member or close friend? Did you know that "stranger danger," by comparison, is quite rare? If you are like me, you are saddened and disgusted by the news that has come out about the Penn State sex scandal. Unfortunately, there are many other predators out there around our youth every day. Out of all the negativity this scandal has brought to our lives, let's let it be a lesson to parents everywhere to start talking to our children openly about what what is a good touch vs. bad touch and what to do if someone does make us feel uncomfortable.
If you're like me, you'd like to lock up your child and never let them out of your sight when you think about this horrible possibility. Unfortunately, our children will be in situations where there are possibilities of adults making bad decisions. What would your child do?
Check out this awesome mom's story...
http://powermommynation.com/2011/11/mommy-he-touched-me/

Would you like to have a conversation with your child but aren't sure how? Check out this site for great tips for prevention and intervention. We should all be aware.

http://www.stopitnow.org/parents_caregivers

***A special thanks to Uneeka Jay for sharing her very personal (but inspirational) story with all of us.

6 Great Tips for Setting Technology Boundaries with Your Family (and yourself!)

2011-11-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

Here are 5 great ways to set boundaries with your family when it comes to using technology in your home.
1. Put your phone in the trunk of your car. Tempted to look at your phone while driving? Take away the temptation by putting your phone in your purse (or diaper bag) and placing it in the trunk. Then, you will not have the temptation to be distracted!

2. Cell phone basket. Set rules for your children's cell phone usage by setting phone times and having your children (including yourself!) turn your phone off and put it in the basket while spending time with the family or doing homework. This is such a great lesson for your family to learn to focus!

3. Checking Minutes. How many minutes has your child used this month on his phone? Is he using it when he is supposed to be sleeping at night? Set a limit and make sure you (or your child) checks with the cell phone carrier to make sure you are within the limits! If neccessary, mark it on the calendar as a reminder!

4. Prioritize quality time. Do your children feel like they are the priority when you are playing with them or spending quality time or do they think you are most interested in the person you are texting? Put your cell phone away and let your children know you want to be with them!

5. Use a TimeScout (http://www.timescout.com/) - A device that helps you to track your children's use on t.vs and computers.

6. Be Present. In our society today, it's so easy to get distracted from what is important. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, so turn off distractions and turn on your presence. And the best part? Your children might follow your example when they are alone (IE. not texting while driving!)

2011-11-01T10:59:00.001-07:00

A lack of intelligence is no excuse for not being successful in life...Within everyone is a capability to be brilliant at something!

3 Great Halloween Videos to Share with your Toddlers (or young kids)

2011-10-30T12:29:00.000-07:00

Boogie Woogie Pumpkin Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-lfnslsFIk&feature=related

Dem Bones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e54m6XOpRgU

The Monster Mashhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxcM3nCsglA&feature=related

Are You the Kind of Mom You Want to Be?

2011-10-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

We all have days when we make mistakes and say things that we regret to our children but if you feel like these times are so often that maybe you are turning into the type of mom you despise, then maybe it's time to think about what type of mom you want to be! Here's an exercise to help you...

Take out a piece of paper and write down three words to describe the type of mom you want to be.
EXAMPLE: Caring, honest, and good role model

Next, write down what actions you need to perform in order to be described as that kind of mom. For example, if you would like to be a caring mom, you may want to use actions like:

kissing,
hugging,
attentive listening (without distractions)

Finally, let go of the things that you regret and focus on the things that you want to accomplish! Holding onto the guilt will only make you feel bad. ALL moms make mistakes on a daily basis so stay focused on the type of mom you want to be and if you slip up, forgive yourself and move forward....after all, you are human!!!

***Want some extra inspiration? Post your 'mom goals' somewhere you see often such as your laptop desktop, on your refrigerator or on your bathroom mirror (the bathroom is a great place because it's helpful to start your day with a friendly reminder of what you want to accomplish!)

3 Questions to Ask if Your Children are Tuning You Out (and how to make them listen!)

2011-10-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

1. Do I have unrealistic expectations? Am I expecting a 2 year old to behave like a 5 year old? It's important to step back and look at what your child can realistically do. Children want to succeed but sometimes aren't sure how. For example, one of your children may be able to sit entertain himself for an hour (as a toddler) and another child may not have the attention span at the same age. If your not sure if your expectations are too high, check out a parenting website such as http://www.babycenter.com/ which details age appropriate behaviors at different ages.

2. Can I get rid of the problem?
Sometimes we create our own problems. It took me 2 weeks to realize that moving a particular chair from the living room to the basement could easily eliminate a big problem when my daughter kept standing on it. I was constantly asking her to sit correctly in the chair and once the chair was removed....there were no more conversations about the subject!

3. Is my child tuning me out? Do you find yourself saying no a lot or correcting your children so often that it feels like that's all you are saying? Often, our children will begin to tune us out because they are overwhelmed. In fact, it's human nature to demonstrate negative behavior when all you are receiving is negative attention. Instead, provide an atmosphere where your child is forced to earn compliments or acceptance so that they feel like they can earn positive reinforcement.
Positive attention doesn't mean constantly telling your child how great they are or how proud you are of them (actually that can be harmful when overdone!) Instead, get engaged in their world and involved in conversations about what interests them "wow! That train is fast! Do you like slow trains or fast trains?"
Usually, getting down on the floor and involved in THEIR world is the easiest way start having them earn positive attention and allow them to learn they are appreciated.

4. Am I a pushover?
We teach our children how to treat us. If we give in to particular situations, our children will begin to think that what they are doing is acceptable (because it is being accepted, right?) Think about what things are very important to you and draw healthy boundaries and/or consequences around those situations (i.e. If your child talks disrespectfully to you and you never give consequences, they will continue to behave that way!) Remember, children respond MUCH more effectively to warnings and consequences (time outs or things being taken away) than they do to verbal reprimands alone!

How Do You Show Your Child That You Love Them?

2011-10-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

I like to be honest in my blog so I will be honest and say that I thought about this idea when I was in marriage counseling. My husband and I were in a rut and having a really difficult time. The marriage counselor suggested we tell each other what the other person did every day what made us feel appreciated (i.e. sex, cleaning the house, giving the other person a break, waking up with the kids in the morning, etc.) This was eye opening to me because some of the things I thought made my husband feel appreciated weren't at all what he wanted.
The same can be said for children. We do so much to make our children happy but do your children know that you value and appreciate them? Sometimes it's important to tell your children the things that you do to show that you love them. Children often realize that kisses and hugs show love but they may not understand that even timeouts or punishments are a way of showing you care about them by teaching them right from wrong. Ask your children what you do that makes them feel special? You can also tell them what THEY do that makes YOU feel special! The result could be eye opening! Give it a try!

Fueling Your Engine

2011-10-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

What did you do to fuel your engine today? Women often put others needs in front of their own forgetting that they need to take care of their own soul. Picture yourself as a vehicle...if you don't put gas in your tank, how will you transport your family where they need to go? Write down three things you did today to recharge your soul, body, or spirit (take a walk, read a book, talk to a friend, or eat something healthy).

Next, write down how this helped you be a better spouse, person or parent. For example, "I took a zumba class today THEN when I came home I played with my child and felt focused, energized, and patient."

How to Create the Life You Want

2011-10-10T04:10:00.000-07:00

It is Monday morning, the start of a brand new week! Brand new activities, brand new jobs, brand new attitudes, and brand new reactions. Whether you are lonely, busy, broke, rich, or even sick, life is the result of your choices. We choose whether we want to be in control of our life or not. So, what if you feel backed into a corner and feel like you have no control over what's happening in your life? I've been there and it sucks!!! But there is good news! You truly can begin to take baby steps back to gaining control over your life with the right support and guidance! Last week is gone...write it in the history books and let it go!
1. Surround yourself with motivated people who share your goals. We treat others how we want to be treated. Oprah and Steve Jobs have both given lectures about how to succeed and they say that surrounding yourself with those who share your goals is essential to creating success! Don't feel like the people your with motivate you? Don't get rid of them! These people may need to learn how you want to be treated! Perhaps we've been sending them the wrong messages about what we expect.
2. Stay focused!
What are your goals? Are your actions a direct result of your goals? Sit down and write a plan for what kind of week your going to have and make it happen!!

**Are you physically able to control your life?
Sometimes our body tells us we need more than a little help and the choices we make may not be enough to make us feel happy. If you suffer from depression, anxiety, or some other mental illness, please seek help from a professional! There is help out there so you can begin to take control again.

What Can Steve Jobs Teach Us?

2011-10-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

What a week this has been! My sister found out 2 weeks ago that she has thyroid cancer. I took her to her doctors appointment this week to see an oncologist and thankfully found out that her cancer is small, easily removable, and a less than 1% chance that it has spread. Hooray! What a relief! But of course with these kinds of experiences, we realize how precious life is and we are reminded to embrace all the wonderful moments! Then, the passing of Steve Jobs brought many facebook posts quoting his amazing messages about embracing life, enjoying your job, and pursuing your passions.
As (moms and as women), we have so many opportunities to pursue our passions. We sometimes get mixed up and think that our children are our ONLY passions but that is not true! We still have our own goals and passions and we need to figure out what the world is needs from us. Everyone has something to contribute to the world and has a reason for being here! What is your reason for being here? What is your passion?
If your struggling, take 5 minutes every night to write in a journal about what inspired you!

Then I thought about writing an article about what Steve Job's messages can teach our children and this author beat me to it (and it's an awesome article!)
http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/7-lessons-the-life-of-steve-jobs-can-teach-our-children/

Whatever inspires you, take a little time each day to make it a reality. This will not only help you to fulfil your dreams but also is the best way to teach your children to make their dreams a reality!

Managing Your Pictures

2011-09-29T12:01:00.000-07:00

If your like me, you have trouble managing your pictures! I manage to get them onto Facebook but then they sit on my computer and never make it into my albums or given to family members (that have been begging you for copies!) Here are a few tricks that I've found from organizing gurus and a special coupon code for you!
1. Make a commitment to order pictures or print them once a season (or year) depending on how many pictures you take!
2. Quit procrastinating! Either order one of those great photo books (I like Snapfish but there's plenty of other sites that are great!) or order the pictures and IMMEDIATELY put them into a scrapbook.
3. Make it fun! Have some friends over, do it with your kids, or take a night to yourself with a glass of wine and go to town! Instead of thinking of this project as a chore, enjoy the trip down memory lane and have fun!
4. Save money! What better way to enjoy scrapbooking than to save money? Here's an awesome deal:

Get 100 4x6 prints for $1, 200 for $2, or 300 for $3

Use coupon ALLPRINTS100, ALLPRINTS200, or ALLPRINTS300 to until October 5
on your Snapfish order! www.snapfish.com

Do I Need to Be Less of a Good Mom?

2011-09-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

There are days when I am so hard on myself as a mom. I can be my worst critic...I swear! Sometimes, I am so consumed by trying to be perfect that I think I'm actually doing my child a disservice! I will give you an example of a few things that have happened lately. My daughter Sienna is a high energy creature often needing direction. I recently realized that I was giving her too much direction and not allowing her to have quiet time and figure out how to play on her own. I was constantly redirecting her, entertaining her (in between stirring the spaghetti) and making everything into a song. I was getting so exhausted trying to multi task at every moment and I was noticing that Sienna had no clue how to play on her own. So, I began scheduling my time with her a little bit more so that I knew that I was giving her undivided, quality attention but then allowed her time to play on her own. Setting this boundary really seemed to be helpful in creating an environment where she would be forced to learn to play independently.
Another example, no one in my family had been happy for about a week because Sienna was getting up at 430 in the morning and screaming. We would come into her room to try to "be a good parent" and put her back to bed. We even tried telling her that we were locking the door and putting a blanket by the door so that she could sleep there or in her bed. This worked for a few night but then at 4am she would begin screaming again. I think that strategy would work for most kids but not my stubborn little cutie! We quickly realized that maybe being a good parent meant that we needed to lay down some rules, gain some control of our house at 4am, lock the door and let her cry it out. Yes, I felt like a REALLY bad parent!! Sienna cried for 2 LONG hours until she finally fell asleep but I realize now that it's what she needed to realize that there are rules and she must stay in her bed at night.
So, it makes me think? Do I need to be less of a good mom to be a good mom???

3 Steps To Keeping a Positive Attitude During Troubling Times

2011-09-09T15:18:00.000-07:00

Why do we create our own stress so often? As if trying to be healthy, pay the bills, and discipline your kids isn't hard enough...why do we watch news media that can make us feel down. Where I live in the northeast we have seen so many crazy things going on; earthquakes, hurricanes, flooding, and remembering 9/11 and the news is covering all the horrific stories.
The human psyche is pretty amazing when you think about it. For some reason we find "entertainment" in hearing about tragedy and turmoil (usually because we like to hear about the an outcome that is triumphant or that there are lessons learned). But what we sometimes forget is that we are dragging ourselves through negativity which can be harmful to our health and well being. The same thing can be said for 'that friend' who gossips a lot (and can be very interesting at times) but listening to the gossip makes you feel sorry for the people she's talking about. So, what can we do to avoid these kind of situations and keep ourselves from bad mood or even worse depression, anxiety, or sleepless nights?

1. RECOGNITION- The first step is recognizing that certain situations are making you feel uncomfortable or you may leave the situation in a bad mood.
2. BOUNDARIES- Setting boundaries is very important. You are in complete control of your life. If a situation is making you feel uncomfortable than it may be necessary to address it in an assertive but direct manner. Although it is sometimes very difficult, there are always time when we need to have difficult conversations with people in our lives (particularly ones we care most about)
3. REPLACEMENT BEHAVIORS- Instead of vowing not to ever hang out with someone you find negative, start to find people that you find to be more positive and make more time for them. Also, instead of watching the news, take a walk or read a magazine.

9 Back-to-School Gadgets Any Student Would Love - ABC News

2011-09-05T05:36:00.000-07:00

9 Back-to-School Gadgets Any Student Would Love - ABC News

4 Easy Ways to Ensure a Successful School Year

2011-09-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

1. Setting a routine. Have your child get use to bedtimes when school starts by having them start going to bed early now. Getting them back in the routine will help their bodies adjust to the change and will avoid having them be extremely tired during those first days back.

2. Get your child excited about school. Talk to you child about their new classroom, teacher, and/or friends. Ask them what they are excited about most or what they are most nervous about. It's often helpful focus on making the new school year itself exciting by asking about books or classes (instead of things like clothes or material objects).

3. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare. Read through any information that you receive right away and do your shopping promptly so that things aren't crazy the day before school starts. Go through school supplies and/or clothes and purge old things to keep it simple. Help your child find a special space for them to do their homework. They can make this space their own with a cork board, bulletin board, and supplies.

4. Provide your child with expectations. Think ahead about what you want your child's school year to be like. What do you need to do to make sure that happens? Setting clear expectations ahead of time will provide your children with ample time to prepare. Of course, consistency is key! So, start thinking now about what you want the school week to look like and what you need to make sure it happens. What are the usual problem areas? If mornings are normally crazy, waking up earlier might be the answer. Perhaps your child is old enough now to start taking out their own breakfast or utensils. Are there any modifications you can make to help them help themselves (such as moving the plates to a lower cabinet)?

Enjoy these special days. Although the first days back to school are filled with mixed emotions, they won't last forever and one day we will miss these special times! Take pictures and tell your child how you feel! Don't forget, enjoy the moments!!

FUN HURRICANE GAMES!!!

2011-08-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

You're stuck inside during the storm and wondering how you're going to keep the kids occupied? Have no fear! Here are some cool games to keep them busy!!!
1. Create a crossword puzzle Using weather related words, create a crossword puzzle. Then, ask someone to find the words that are hidden. Remember, your kids can either find the words or make the puzzle himself!
2. Surf the net. Storms can be really exciting! Surf the internet for some fun weather related facts and videos! Here's a cool site http://www.weatherwizkids.com/weather-hurricane.htm
3. Play the Name Game. This game can be fun for adults and children! The first person picks a name of a famous celebrity like Michael Jackson. The next person must say the name of a celebrity that starts with the first letter of the last name such as Jessica Simpson. The next person would say a name that started with S and so on...that's it! Enjoy!
4. Flashlight games. If your stocked up on batteries and the power goes out, you can play flashlight tag or make shadows with your hands! Make sure you have plenty of battery life so you don't compromise your safety!!!!
5. Eat Ice Cream. If the power goes out for extended periods of time, there is a dangerous chance that your ice cream will melt so make sure you enjoy some yummy treats!!

Creative Parenting Trick

2011-08-21T11:37:00.001-07:00

You know those times when your child says something to you that may be appropriate but is on the fence of being disrespectful? Kids are great manipulators and they are at saying what they can get away with even though it may be disrespectful. Here are two questions to keep kids from becoming the smart mouth that drives you crazy!

1. "I'm not sure why you are talking that way?"
2. "O.k...let's start this conversation over again. Let's turn this around!" Now stand up, turn around and sit back down again and have your child do the same thing!

4 Easy Tricks to Make Your Mornings Run Smoothly

2011-08-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

1. Plan your week
Sundays are a great time to think about your week and prepare. Look at the calendar and take some time to think about what needs to be done and how it needs to happen.

2. Talk about your week
Talk to your kids and significant other early during the day on Sundays (not at 9pm as everyone is going to bed). It's often helpful to talk about expectations and/or plans over dinner when you have every one's attention (as opposed to while the kids are watching t.v and might not be fully paying attention). It may even be helpful to ask for them to repeat back to you what you said so that you are assured that they heard you.

3. Get things ready
Think about what you can do the night before to make the morning easier. Since I have a newborn, I like to take the formula container (which is already measured out and filled) and 2 bottles with water in them to bed with me so that I can easily prepare them at night. I also fill my daughter's sippy cup with milk and put it on the bottom shelf so she can get it herself in the morning. If you're a coffee drinker, make sure it is ready the night before so all you need to do is push a button in the morning. Finally, make sure your dishes are done. The last thing you want to do is come down to a sink full of dishes in the morning!

4. Get up early
As hard as it is to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, allowing yourself enough time in the morning is the single most important thing you can do to get a good start to your day. Waking up (or even working out) before your kids wake up can be a great way to get your thoughts organized and get some alone time before everyone wakes up.

How Stay at Home Moms Can Keep Their Sanity

2011-08-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

Being a Stay at Home mom is definitely not an easy job! There are times when your day feels like one very long bumpy road. One thing that I find extremely helpful to stay happy as a Stay at Home mom is to view my stay at home status as a profession. The word profession is defined as a job that has duties and results in a payment or a return of some kind. Technically, if I wasn't at home with our daughter, we would be paying for childcare so in a way, I am being reimbursed in the big picture. Not only that, but my reimbursement is watching my daughter smile, give hugs, and learn new things.

When I see my stay at home mom role as a job, I am better able to handle stress and stay professional. I know that the word professional sounds weird but it is really important to not take things personally and stay focused on the responsibilities at hand. As much as I love being able to give my daughter hugs and kisses all the time (and I do!) it's nice to also step away and just do my job!

Next, any CEO of a successful company will tell you that organization is very important. Your home is no different and needs to have systems, goals, and rewards.

Having goals as a stay at home mom can help you to stay focused.

Write down your goals as a stay at home mom (i.e. keeping kids safe, healthy, etc.) Then incorporate your goals into a flexible schedule. Having a schedule is SOOOOO important. My schedule is pretty flexible but I definitely prioritize eating and sleeping times for the kiddos. Having a schedule is very important for helping everyone understand what is expected of them and when and even help us to stay focused. Children respond very well to routine and time frames.

Create a support system for yourself.

This is SOOOO important and is so often overlooked! In any job setting, people have mentors, supervisors, and coworkers...you should too! Set yourself up with a friend that you respect and admire and make you set up times to talk to them about issues and struggles or just listen as they go through the same things you do. I am really big on scheduling (on the calendar) 'moms night out' or dinners with a friend at LEAST once every 2 weeks...this can really be a sanity saver!

Take a Personal Day

If you work hard during the day and accomplish most of your goals, than you deserve a break (without feeling guilt about taking a day to yourself). Every job as personal days and a stay at home mom should too!
Get out of your sweatpants.
Every office has a dress code to make people appear and feel professional. There's an old saying that you should "dress the part" if you want to succeed at something. Sometimes it's the little things that can help you feel more important and give you motivation throughout your day. Get out of your sweatpants and put on something that makes you feel like you look nice and it might be enough to help you feel good about yourself when you walk past the mirror. (by that I mean jeans and a sweater-let's be real!)
Picture yourself as the person you want to become. If being a stay at home mom is something you truly want, take the time to create the role you wish to attain and set yourself up with all the tools you need to make it happen!

TODDLER TUESDAY! Is the Breastfeeding Doll Appropriate for Toddlers?

2011-07-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

There is a new doll on the market for toddlers which comes with accessories for the toddler to nurse the doll. I have mixed feelings about this controversial product. First of all, I think there is a little too much hoopla being made about something that's not a big deal in my mind. I don't think that I would buy this product for my daughter...but that doesn't mean I have a problem with it.
There is nothing 'sexual' about breastfeeding, therefore I don't really see this product being much different than a babydoll with a bottle or a baby that comes with diapers for changing when their wet.
If you don't care for this doll than you don't have to buy it for your child....but saying it should be taken off the market is a bit much in my opinion. If we are really concerned about inappropriate games or toys for our children then perhaps we should focus on getting some of the violent games and toys off the market instead of a nurturing doll.

FOCUS FRIDAY! Our Newest Member!

2011-07-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

PROUD MAMA!

NEW FAMILY UNIT

SISTERLY LOVE

SO PROUD TO BE A BIG SISTER!!

Please Be Patient!

2011-07-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, we welcomed Jacklyn Raine to our lives on July 12th. As a result, my postings are going to be a little sporadic for the next few weeks (until I can get back in the swing of things!) I am still posting here and there but not as consistantly as I was before!!
Thanks for checkin' in and keep coming back!

Simple Sunday! Ice Cream Sunday!

2011-07-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

Of course this special holiday would fall on a SUNDAE!
Who doesn't love ice cream especially on a hot summer day?! Check out this great way to have fun with your kids and also challenge their math skills!

Take a Survey:

Have your kids take a survey of their friends and family using some of these questions (or create their own!) Knock on neighbors doors (if you feel comfortable) or call some friends and family on the phone.
1. What's your favorite flavor?
2. Do you prefer water ice, gelato, or popsicles?
3. Do you prefer your ice cream in a cone (if so, what kind) or a dish?
4. Do you like soft ice cream or hard ice cream?
5. What do you think is the most popular flavor of ice cream? (see trivia below)
6. Do you prefer Rita's or Dairy Queen?
7. Make up your own questions!!

After taking the survey, your kids can ave some fun with the results. If your child is young they can add up the tally. If they are older, they can have them do a prediction, add up the tallies, graph the results, and come up with conclusions.

Trivia:

Impress your family and friends with some fun ice cream trivia!

National ice cream day was started by Ronald Reagan in 1984
An average of 50 licks is needed to down a single-dip ice cream cone
The average American eats about five-and-a-half gallons of ice cream each year
Here's the order of America's favorite flavors:

1st-Vanilla
2nd-Chocolate
3rd-Cookies ‘n cream
4th-Strawberry
5th-Chocolate Chip Mint

Ice cream is basically just frozen milk and sugar
Children ages 2 through 12 and adults over age 45 eat the most ice cream

Author’s note: Information provided by the International Dairy Foods Association, www.idfa.org.

Want some more ideas to celebrate this fun holiday? Send some online ice cream cards http://www.123greetings.com/events/ice_cream_day_june/ or watch this fun ice cream videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5bEbgBBAyU (my daughter LOVES this song!). Finally, don't forget to visit your local ice cream shop for some fun celebrations (and maybe even some freebies!)

SHE'S HERE!!!!

2011-07-16T07:47:00.000-07:00

Jacklynn Raine Langdon was born on Tuesday, July 12th, 2011 at 12:50pm. She weighed 7 lbs and 2 oz and measured 19 inches long. The middle name Raine came to us becuase we couldn't think of a middle name while in the hospital and decided we should pick a name that represented one of our heritages. Wayne came up with Raine which is a native American name from his ancestery.
So, here's the story! We went into the hospital on Monday night at 10pm and to my disappointment I was only 2 centimeters dialated but luckily the contractions were hurting really bad although they were only 5 minutes apart. Early Tuesday morning I got the epidural (woo hoo!) At 12:00pm I started feeling all the contractions and was in a lot of pain. The epidural had warn off! When the doctor checked me I was still only 6 centimeters dialated to which I responded, "Are you freaking kidding me?!" The nurses began trying to figure out how to relieve my pain then at 12:40 they figured out that the baby was coming right away! Everyone started scrambling to get all the tools, lights, etc. set up (and get the doctor in the room) and I began getting a little scared. Then, in 3 pushes baby Jax was born and laying in my arms with a beautiful, peaceful, and calm disposition.
Recovery was so much easier this time around. In fact, my mother in law said, "You look ALOT better than when you had Sienna" I guess that's what happens when you have an extended labor and endure an hour and a half of pushing! I was amazed how easy it was to get out of bed and move around compared to how I felt after I delivered Sienna.
I was able to have a provate room (becuase there weren't alot of deliveries) so it was nice to have some privacy and of course this time I was feeling more confident and was sure to send baby to the nursery whenever I needed a break.
I was given the choice to leave on Wednesday or stay until Friday and aside from the crappy food, I was so glad that I stayed the extra day. My mom and husband were so great about keeping the fort down at home so I didn't have to worry about Sienna. My mom brought Sienna in to meet her little sister. The introduction didn't really go as beautiful as I had pictured in my head but it was great non the less! I could see Sienna instantly becoming jealous and wanting a lot of attention....uh oh...we're in for it!
We came home yesterday and things have been great! More updates and pictures will be posted shortly!

Simple Sunday! When Children Tune Us Out...

2011-07-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

You might say that knowing how to choose battles with children is the ultimate test of parenting. When I was in martial arts training, I learned this very important lesson when my teacher explained that when a hard blow occurs to your body, less injury occurs if you give in a little then if you stiffen up. When I was learning to drive a car I learned that if a person is tailgating you, it's better to pull over and let them pass then it is to slam on your brakes and have them ram into you.
Whatever way you want to look at it, there are times that you must be flexible in your discipline approach with children. This morning my daughter and I got into a full blown battle of the wills because she wanted to get out of her room at 5:30am and my rule is not before 6am. SO, not being awake enough to problem solve the situation in an effective manner, we ended up in a head to head battle lasting an hour of screaming! Not my proudest mommy moment but I look at every experience as something to learn from. What could I have done differently? Did I do the right thing? I'm not really sure of the correct answer in this scenerio, but what I do know is that there are times in parenting when you don't have to be "the winner" or prove a point.

I will still stick to my guns about the 6am wake up time but perhaps next time I will approach the situation with a little more flexibiliy and a little less of "putting on the brakes"!

Boys, Boys, Boys

2011-07-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

Boys will be boys?

I am about to have 2 girls and currently take care of two girls so my life is surrounded by pigtails, tutus, and baby dolls. However, it wasn't too long ago that I was a nanny for two boys and taught martial arts to boys and girls, so I do remember what that world was like...much different!
Boys and girls definitely have different biological makeup and tendencies. It seems to me that boys often have more energy (or at least need stimulated in different ways) however, I don't think there is a huge difference unless the environment around them is expecting those behaviors of them. For instance, if a boy is given positive reinforcement for being "a little devil" (or not given consequences for aggressive behaviors) than he is being taught that these behaviors are appropriate and will therefore continue those behaviors.

On the flip side, I think it's important that we teach little boys how to care for others and reward them when they are affectionate or kind toward others at any age. Also, exposing girls or boys to excessive violent games and toys can desensitize violence and make it fun. Do we really need to look at the thousands of studies that we have seen over the years to prove that violent games and t.v make a negative impact on a child's behavior?

Boys will be boys. They may think different than girls and are often better at more analytical activities such as how things operate. It's important to embrace those characters but not reinforce the behaviors that lead to aggression or violence. At the same time, I believe it's important to encourage girls to learn sports and how things work and not to overemphasize social skills and taking care of babies, etc.....

I guess I will save that discussion for another day!

Toddler Tuesday! How to Get Through Those Difficult Times

2011-07-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

Raising a toddler can be difficult. Then you add stresses of work, marriage, and other life struggles and sometimes raising a toddler can seem impossible. Although it may sound a little far fetched, using guided imagery can really help you work on your goals and get through those difficult times.

Guided imagery is an amazing tool for creating the life you want. Research has proven again and again that our imagination can help us build our own realities. What is that you want? What kind of family do you want to have? When you are old and sitting on a rocking chair, what kind of family to you want to come visit you?

Do you think it sounds sound corny or silly? Maybe, but chat with some athletes that have won races, people who have overcome illnesses, or people who have lost a lot of weight and you will quickly learn that guided imagery is a powerful tool. Whether these people realize it or not, they have used guided imagery (in some form or another) to attain the goals they have set. In other words, they become the person they want to be.

Can we turn our worries into dreams?

I am a women, therefore I worry (I think it goes along with the territory!) but I really think that worries can be our own worst enemy. Don't get me wrong, listening to our intuition (and taking time to listen to what is best for us is a good thing) but when these thoughts of doing what's best turn into worries, it really doesn't help us and instead drags us down; preventing success.

Instead, if we take the time to listen to our intuition, then visualize the life we want we will inevitable (almost effortlessly) create the life we want. It's SIMPLE. If you believe in yourself and take baby steps you will be moving in the direction of your goals and dreams.

Are you ready to make it happen? Try these simple steps one or 2 times a day (or whenever you want!) and watch your dreams become a reality.

1. Picture your family doing the things that you wish would change (ex. fighting, sadness, or illness).

2. Next, picture yourself throwing that picture away.

3. Create a new family portrait in your imagination with the family that you wish to become.
4. Take baby steps to move toward that image.

Interested in learning more about guided imagery? Check this out: www.holisticonline.com/guided-imagery.htm

Simple Sundays! 3 Easy Ways to Get Your Kids to Enjoy Dinnertime!

2011-07-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

1. Engage children in decision making and meal preparation when possible. Kids of all ages love choices and feeling like they are a part of the process. When a child reaches 2 (or older), they can begin to help with stirring the food and smelling the food cooking. As they get older they can help with picking out recipes, helping at the grocery store, and even preparing foods.
2. Make dinner time a pleasant time by keeping conversations light and fun and also not allowing disrespectful behavior. Try to avoid too much talk about work or adult gossip and remember to include the kids in conversations.
3. Start a tradition. In our family we have a special plate that we use for when a member of the family has a birthday, receives special recognition for something, or worked especially hard on something positive.

(You can buy the special plate by clicking on my store on the home page!!)

Focus Fridays! Division of Labor Among Parents

2011-07-01T00:07:00.000-07:00

In today’s day and age, we are seeing such a shift in roles of what parents are doing in a family. Long gone are the days of Mom having dinner on the table at 5:00 with the kids bathed and lip stick on when Daddy arrives. Instead, we live in an age where men want to be more involved in parenting and women want to be more involved in a life outside of the house. We are seeing both women and men staying at home to raise the kids and many stay at home parents are also working a paying job while the kids are napping or go to another job when the other parent comes home.

The good part of this change in society mindset is that both parents are much more involved in their children’s lives and also still feeling like they have a life outside the home. The difficult part is that parents are now putting so much on their plates that they have trouble juggling it all.

We see this often in our home. My husband works full time in a stressful job. He rushes home to have quality time and dinner before our daughter goes to bed. Then, he tries to fit in a workout (or play with his softball team) After that, he comes home and either does more work on the computer for his full time job or researches information for the startup company he is doing on the side (in an effort to raise money for a shore house). On the weekends he is often coupon clipping (yes, my husband clips our coupons and does our grocery shopping!) and spending quality time with us as well as extended family.

As for myself, I am home with our daughter every day. I spend 3 days taking care of 2 other children in our home while also taking care of my daughter and trying to get some rest since I am 8 months pregnant. I also work 3 mornings a week at a fitness center (in the babysitting room) so I can get free membership and make a few extra bucks. In addition, I maintain this blog (to keep my sanity) and also hopefully start a career in writing or journalism when my children are in school. I am also trying to make money some money blogging so we can have a beach house (but I am not succeeding in the making money pert yet!) Lastly, I am spending a lot of my time trying to learn more about money and finances so that I can be more involved and in control of how and where my families money is spent (which I have not been in the past).

Just like every other couple with kids, we are trying to share duties and responsibilities and also set boundaries with each other in a respectful way. There’s constantly a never ending to do list and we often are on different pages about who is doing what and how much is on the other person’s plate. Does this sound familiar? We both have a habit of getting overextended and resentful toward one another when we put too much on our plate.

1. Being clear about goals. While it’s common to have differences in what we think 'may need to be done urgently', it’s important that both people are on the same page for what the overall goals may be. Having these conversations about our gooals is very important so that both partners are reminded that they are working toward the same outcome.

A conversation started may be “I know that we both want to make sure our family is healthy, happy, and financially secure (for example) but I feel like we are not communicating well about how to achieve those goals. What can we do differently?"

or simply, “I need more help at home. I feel very overwhelmed. What can we do?”

2. Going to church (or spend time with whatever higher power you believe in). Whatever your spiritual belief is, it’s helpful to take some time every week to remind yourself that you can’t be in control of everything all the time and sometimes it’s helpful to allow yourself to let go.

3. Set boundaries. Take time OFTEN to tell your spouse what you need. No, you are not a nag! This is what people do to keep sane and ask for the help that they need!

4. Make a list of what each person is doing on a daily basis so that both of you can see the big picture.

TODDLER TUESDAY! Fun and Free Activities for Toddlers (and beyond!)

2011-06-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

It’s going to be the end of the summer and before you know it, we’re going to run out of ideas (and money) for what to do with the kiddos…

There are many things you can do with your children that will build memories for a lifetime and don’t cost a dime! Remember, it’s all about presentation!! The majority of the time, if you enjoy it-they will too!! Also, take one for the team and remember that sometimes you have to get dirty or do boring things but spending quality time with your kiddo is what really matters! Here are a few of my ideas.

1. Go to your local library Whatever your child’s age, the library can be a great place if you make it fun! Enjoy story times, read books together, or play with the train sets or toys they have. Be sure to get down on your child’s level so they feel like you want to play WITH them (especially if they are shy around other children it helps to have you there!)
Remember-some area libraries are better than others (or offer different things) Check out more than one library in your area to change things up!! You can search on the internet for your area libraries!

2. Take a Walk – Taking a walk can be fun if you make it that way! Depending on your child’s age you can turn finding things on your walk into a game! For example “Do you want to go on a nature walk? What do you think we will find?” or “Should we go visit the stream or the horsies? You pick!!” Giving options is always helpful and makes children feel included and not just bossed around-even though you are still the boss!;)

3. Treasure hunt – This is always fun for ALL ages! It takes some prep work but they LOVE it! Make a list of 10 places where you can hide little prizes (can wrap pretzels in aluminum foil or gold fish, a few candies, etc.) Give the child a list of 10 questions pertaining to the places where you hid the prizes. For example for a 9 year old you may say “I like to mix things up” for something hidden in a blender. For a 3 year old you might say “people lay on me and I often hear stories” for an item hidden in the bed. Obviously it should be much easier for the 3 year old. This game can take a while and be very fun!!

4. Go to a Park – Try a different park or bring different toys to the park. Maybe even meet someone new to mix things up a little. Many parks in the area offer very different things from sand boxes to a jungle gym that might just have a slightly different swing or monkey bars that they might love!! I used to bring different toys to a nearby park that had a sandbox and the 3 year old I was watching loved it!! I also would get in the sand and played with him which often helps when he would get bored. Check out parks using the Internet-there might be one close by that you have never seen!

I'm back!

2011-06-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

I am so sorry the site has been down for the past 5 days but we are back in business and ready to rock!! Stay tuned for a fabulous week of great information and inspirational ideas for you and your family!

Toddler Tuesday! Teddy Bear Picnic

2011-06-21T18:01:00.000-07:00

Teddy bear picnics can be great fun for kids of any age! Help your children plan the party and create items to go along with this fun theme. Plan at least a few days ahead to get the most out of the fun and build anticipation for your little ones. Here are some ideas to help you along!

1. Make bear foot prints out of brown construction paper and put them on the floor. You can use this for decoration or turn it into a musical chairs game by taking one away at a time.
2. Make a pretend (or real) birthday cake for the bear and sing happy birthday.
3. Make creative snacks with honey or teddy grahams.
4. Play a BEARY fun game! See who can make the scariest "roar". For some reason, babies LOVE this!
5. Read a bear book such a Bernstein bears.

TODDLER TUESDAY! Summertime Party

2011-06-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

Today is the start of the summer solstice-marking the beginning of my favorite season! Check out these cool party we threw last year for summer.
NOTE: This party can be any day during the summer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=&feature=player_embedded

Father's Day 2011-Enjoying the Moments

2011-06-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

Simple Sunday! What Does it Mean to be a Classy Mommy?

2011-06-19T13:20:00.000-07:00

Are you the mom that looks sophisticated and has it all together?

Being classy is more than just appearance. It's about grace, elegance, and sophistication. Here are some things that come to my mind when I think about a "classy mom".

1. Show kindnessYou will not look classy while screaming at your kid in Target! Use your manners with your children and discipline them appropriately. Explain to them what they did wrong and give consequences (of course consistency is key). Show them kindness by being respectful and courteous to others.

2. Be a good listener

If you talk about yourself and your experiences too much it can come off as pompous. No one likes a "know it all". You can't listen and talk at the same time, so zip your lip and listen to what others have to say...you just might learn something!

3. Show generosityGive back to those in need as well as your community. Donate money or time to a good cause. Remember that generosity doesn't necessarily mean giving "things". Sometimes, it's best to give someone support, love and resources and letting them find their own way.

4. Look goodAlthough being classy isn't just about how you look, lets face it...it is important! Everyone has days when they don't get out of their sweatpants or their comfy maternity shirt (that they should have given away after they had their baby!) Although this is necessary on some days, don't make a habit of it! If your heading out (or even if your not!), put on nice jeans, a cute top and some high heeled boots. At the very least, curl your eyelashes (brightens up tired eyes), apply some blush, and throw on some lip gloss. Take a moment to check out the latest styles FOR YOUR AGE. Don't get caught up in wearing something too trendy, it will make you look like your trying to hard and may not be appropriate (i.e. mini skirts and side ponytails). The truth is, when you look good, you will feel better about yourself.

4. Be confident and genuineDon't compare yourself to the mom that always looks like she has it all together in your playgroup. No one has it ALL together so give yourself a break and relax! Also, be genuine. The classy mommies in Hollywood (Jennifer Garner and Gwenyth Paltrow come to mind) are considered classy because they are real. They are often seen playing with their kids, getting dirty, and showing outward affection.

Enjoy your children and appreciate the joy they bring. Finally, if you truly feel good about yourself, others will think that they should feel good about you too!! Smile and enjoy the wonderful gift of motherhood!

Toddler Tuesday! Best Resources for Parenting Toddlers

2011-06-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

Are you having some trouble with your toddler and don't really want to ask your parents or friends? Don't worry, your not alone! Toddlers can be very tricky and hard to figure out! Check out some of these books!
http://www.squidoo.com/parenting-books-toddlers
I would also like to add The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp, M.D. This is one of my favs and you can buy it through my online store!

Simple Sunday! Helping the 'Tattletale Child'

2011-06-12T07:59:00.001-07:00

Being a leader and a rule follower is a good thing. However, there comes a time when a child that tends to always fit this role and will become the 'tattletale'. Sometimes, the tattletale child can be a big help because you can trust them to do what they are told and let you know if something is wrong. The problem with this is that these children will often get consumed by caretaking and taking on other children's worries (or even the adult worries) instead of being a child and playing normally.
First of all, it's important that we evaluate the situation. If the child is tattle tailing because another child is running toward the road than we should thank them for helping keep a child safe from danger. Toddlers often go through a phase of being a tattle tale while they are learning right from wrong but they quickly grow out of this phase when they start to learn when it's acceptable to tell an adult and when they should keep to themselves.
It's important that we remind ourselves that these children may be looking for attention from us and tattle taling may be their way of feeling good about themselves. If they are "supervising" too much and telling you what other children are doing wrong, say to them "thank you very much, but that is not your worry", and try to give them attention in other ways. Help them to see that they can get your attention without being the "teacher".

****TICKLES AND TIMEOUTS TIP!
When you see or hear a child working a problem out on their own (without getting a teacher), get down on their level and compliment the child for this behavior!

Focus Friday! How to Get Stubborn Children to Not Push the Limits

2011-06-10T02:02:00.000-07:00

Some children seem to "get it" more than others. Why is it that some children seem to test the boundaries and fight the rules while others go with the flow?

First of all, all children will test at some point or another (and in some way or another). It's part of a child's development and how they learn what's going on around them. Some children are more tenacious and will challange until they learn that the person telling them "no" will not give in. This can be very trying for the adult who's trying to do the right thing at the end of a long day. So, how do we muster up the patience and draw boundaries effectively with children?

Choose your battles ahead of time as often as possible. If you have decided that eating vegetables is a must (for example) then be prepared to not give in during dinnertime. A recent study just came out stating that you should not say no to your kids often...sounds crazy, right? Well, the researchers pointed out that saying no using other ways is more effective such as saying, "You can eat your brocolli or your carrots", instead of saying, "No, you can't have dessert!" What this is doing is eliminating the need to draw the line in the sand creating a power struggle. Another way to say no (without saying no) is to simply say, "Ok, you can have your dessert but you must eat your peas first."

My child is one of those tenacious children! A few days ago, I got so tired of her crying, whiing, and not listening that I finally had to put my foot down. I gave her 2 warnings then began the time out. What an exhausting experience! She came out of the time out spot over 50 times (and let me tell you that carrying a toddler back to the spot while I'm 8 months pregnant is quite an ordeal!) However, she finally stayed and after 1 minute of her staying there, I called her to me and nicely talked to her about why she was in time out and gave her a kiss and a hug.

I started giving Sienna timeouts when she was 20 months old and it was exhausting at first. Then, she quickly started realizing that I meant business when it came to time outs and did not want to be there. Children will test the waters again but being consistant really makes a big difference in how they respond to rules.

Remember, stubborness is not a bad thing. Tenacity is a good thing and the ability to not give up will give your child serve your child well when he or she is older!

Toddler Tuesday! Summer Danger..Please Watch!

2011-06-07T17:42:00.001-07:00

http://blogs.phillymag.com/the_philly_post/2011/06/02/18-seconds/

Simple Sundays! Do you Spend Enough Quality Time with Your Child?

2011-06-05T05:14:00.000-07:00

It's often hard to figure out if you are spending enough quality time with your child and making time for quality time with your child can be a very difficult juggling act! I have thought a lot of about this question and unfortunately, there’s no magic number of quality time hours that will make you a ‘good parent’. Instead, it’s something you need to think about on your own…and I mean REALLY think about.

Sometimes our children will let us know they need more attention by acting out (yelling or hitting for example). Believe it or not, these children make it easier because they will let us know when they need more attention. Other children are a little more difficult because they will play independently for extended periods of time and not always let us know in clear ways that they need more from us.

Basically, it is simple. If one of your priorities is spending QUALITY time with your child, your child will see that THEY are priority. Do you think your child feels like quality time with his or her is a priority to you or do they think that cleaning, working, or another child is more important?

I can hear you now…Toni’s a stay at home mom with only one kid, easy for her to say that I need to spend a lot of quality time with my child (if you are thinking this, please read my article, ‘Ode to working moms’). I have seen many moms that work outside the home manage to spend quality time with their little ones. Using some creativity, multitasking, and lots of enthusiasm-you can make it happen! Here are some ideas:

1. Take a walk while playing a game with your child. Have a treasure hunt or play a game requiring finding things. Even toddlers can find objects. Sienna and I like to play a finding game on our walks. I say, “I see a fire hydrant, do YOU see a fire hydrant?” This is a great way to fit in some exercise while also spending quality time with your munchkin!

2. Cleaning up. Believe it or not children of all ages like to help! Ask your toddler to help you put away laundry. While taking clothes out of the dryer, have your little one figure out who the article of clothes belongs to and where it needs to go. Then have them put the clothes in thei appropriate room. For older kids, turn on some music and set a timer, ask your child to see if they can do a cleaning task before the timer goes off.

3. Set aside a date night (or even an hour to the ice cream shop) with only one of your children to show them how special they are!

4. Car Wash. Believe it or not, kids think car washes are fun! If you’re going through a car wash, your kids will love all the colors and hoses (especially if you show excitement too!) If your child is older, they will love helping you at a do it yourself car wash or even in your driveway (although old clothes are a must!)

NOTE: If you feel you haven’t spent enough quality time, let me first warn you that your child will probably resist when you do try to cuddle or play games with them at first. But that’s o.k. Maybe your child doesn’t want to cuddle on the couch but sitting next to them while watching TV and asking them about the show THEY are watching is a great way to start the process of engaging with them and showing them that you are interested in what they like (even if it’s Barney!!)

FOCUS FRIDAYS! What Grade Would You Receive?

2011-06-03T04:32:00.000-07:00

A new bill is proposed in Florida called the Involvement and Accountability in Public Schools Bill. This bill is supposed to make parents more accountable for their child's education by having the teacher give the parent a grade.
First of all, I think it would be great if we could hold parents more accountable for a child's education instead of placing all the responsibility on the teachers, however, I don't think this particular bill is realistic. I don't think that the majority of parents will agree to have their child's teacher give them a grade (especially if they can't give the teachers a grade!) But this does raise some interesting questions...

1. What is REALLY expected of parents?
2. Do parents know what is expected of them?
3. Aren't there already laws in place for truancy to hold parents accountable for tardiness and absenteeism? If so, are these realistic?
4. Do parents know how involved they should be in their child's homework? If so, do they have the skills needed to truly help their child?

When I was a nanny, I remember DREADING homework time! Getting a child to complete their homework after a long school (and work) day can be exhausting BUT it's essential for a child's success in the classroom.

Here are some tips to help get you through homework sessions...

1. ORGANIZE, ORGANIZE, ORGANIZE! Staying organized helps you be a better parent and also helps your child be more responsible. Pick a place for your child to put his or her back pack every day and make sure that YOUR CHILD (not you!) places it there every day. Depending on your child's age, have them tell you what they need to do, get their stuff out, and be accountable for their work. Check things out before sitting down with them so you can get an idea of what's ahead of you.

2. Be realistic. If your child is exhausted, hungry, or overwhelmed...take a break and get a snack. Also, be realistic about what your child can achieve and don't expect perfection.

3. Give choices.  Children like having some control! Let your child decide what snack they will have or what they want to do with their free time. Allow them to create a cool spot to do their homework that they can decorate (but make sure it's within your eye sight!)

4. Stick to a schedule. Some kids do better completing their homework the second they walk in the door; others need some time to regroup. Allow your child to have a little flexibility (such as having a 10 minute extension to their free time) but stick to your guns and use a timer!

5. Give warnings and consequences (without arguments). You are the parent, you have control over this. Avoid homework battles at all costs!  Do yourself a favor and make it as easy and fun as possible.  If your child is being disrespectful or not listening after warnings, then give consequences without emotional exchange.

6. Get engaged. This is the tricky part. There are times when you need to engage in your child's homework and other times when you need to let them do it on their own. Deciphering between the two can be harder than climbing Mount Everest; however, if you follow your intuition and use some patience, you will be sure to do the right thing! If you are unsure or extremely frustrated, reach out to the teacher. This bill shows that teachers would rather a parent be over involved than under involved!

7. Make it fun. There are times when children do need to get to business and get their work done but remember that they ARE children and making studying fun can sometimes ease everyone's frustrations (including your own!). Kids love quizzes (especially game show style)  When studying is becoming stressful, mix things up by changing rooms, having a game show, or play hangman related to the questions.

TODDLER TUESDAY! How to Have Fun at the Beach Without Spending a Dime!

2011-05-31T10:46:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows about the usual things to do at the beach (like swimming and making sandcastles) but what we often forget (as we sit down and get out our book) is that toddlers often need a lot more direction! But don’t worry, with a little creativity we can embrace the sea shore without spending any money and keep our little ones entertained for hours!

Make shadows This is one of my favorite things to do. Teach children about how their movements make shadows on the sand. It may not keep their attention for too long but it’s a great way to have fun on the go.

Writing in the Sand Writing in the sand can keep kids entertained for long periods of time while also teaching them new things! The choices of what to write (or draw) are endless but Sienna and I love to write letters, numbers, and happy faces. As your toddler gets older you can help them draw boats, kites, food, and many other objects!

Bring bath toys from home Don’t forget your kids favorite bath toys! Bring these toys to the beach, encourage your kids to dip the toys in the water, make a parade, or bury them.

Races Draw a line in the sand indicating a start and finish line and race your little one (don’t forget to let them win sometimes!!)

Boot camp If your toddler is old enough, teach them how to run on the beach, do jumping jacks, and push ups. Crabby crawls (walking on your hands and feet) are great fun too!

Hopscotch Draw some blocks in the sand and jump away. Even if your toddler isn’t old enough to really understand the game, they will have fun hoping on the squares!

Playing in the sand Although this is messy….building sandcastles can be great fun for children. Fill a bucket with water and bury it in the sand so that they can make a pretend “swimming pool” or have your little one bury your feet.

Picnic Eating somewhere new can be fun! Grab a blanket, juice boxes, and a sandwich for the perfect picnic on the beach!

***TICKLES AND TIMEOUTS TIP!! Go to the beach in the morning or evening to avoid the crowds and also keep your toddler cool. In addition, the mornings and early evenings offer great opportunities to see new things like fisherman, trackers, and new sea shells. Don’t forget your camera! This is the perfect opportunity to capture some great pictures!

WE'RE BACK!!!

2011-05-30T06:34:00.000-07:00

We had a great vacation with the family at the beach and now we're back to business and have lots of information to share with you this week! Stay tuned!!!

Simple Sunday! Bonding With Your Child

2011-05-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

For some parents, bonding with their child is easy...for others it's more difficult. For those of you who don't always know how to approach or relate to children-don't worry-it doesn't mean your a bad mom! Using patience and practicing some skills can get you very far in parenting and help you build a positive and fun-loving relationship!

Have your child teach you something they are passionate about. Kids love to teach adults their ideas or skills (and guess what....there's certain things they really do know more than us!) Pay CLOSE attention to your child's interests and let them "teach" you what THEY enjoy. Here's some ideas...

1. MUSIC Tell them you really need to update your ipod playlist and ask them for some songs since they "know what's good these days"! Even if you don't enjoy their taste, make the best of it and listen to it occasionally around them!

2. TECHNOLOGY Ask your child if he or she can help you find information on a certain topic on the internet (because you "know they are so good at navigation on the internet"!)

3. FASHION I know, this is a hard one to muster, but let your child take you to the mall to pick out cool earrings (or if you are a daring a new dress for an event!). Try to be willing to listen to their ideas and ask them fora choice of which they like better rather than having them pick out a whole outfit and letting them down if you don't like any of it. *This is why I suggested jewelry!

Allow your child to be the teacher or expert! Whether this conversation takes 2 minutes (or a month), make sure you follow up with a statement about how impressed you are with all they know about this subject and how smart they are!

Focus Fridays! Local Spotlight...Jersey Shore!

2011-05-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, you love the fact that summer is right around the corner and you can't wait to hit your favorite Jersey shore beach spots to make some great memories with your family! Well, here are some great places and resources to help you make those memories even better!

1. Make memories at the beach Check out this great video shot in Wildwood (and you don't need to spend a dime!) http://vimeo.com/10395548

2. Storybook Land https://storybookland.com/
Storybook Land is a great place to visit and it's only 10 miles west of Atlantic City. Believe it or not I used to go there as a kid (on our way to the shore) and remember thinking it was AWESOME! I will warn you that the cost is $21.95 plus tax for each child or adult (No charge for children under 12 months of age but the parking is free and you are allowed to bring food in and eat at the pavillions!

3. Need a babysitter? What could be better than having a date night at the shore? Check out http://www.sittersity.com/ or post on your facebook page that you are interested in a babysitter at the shore. There are many teens looking for work at the shore this summer and they may be related to someone you know!

4. Want more Jersey shore family information? Here are some great sites and articles for you to check out!

Tourism information and more http://www.visitnj.org/ Also, don't forget to check out each city's local chamber of commerce site for information and events in each shore town!
Article about the best reasons to love the Jersey shore when you have a family http://family.go.com/travel/vacations/new-jersey/jersey--shore/best-jersey-shore-vacation-for-babies-282122/
A local mom blog http://www.jerseyshorefamilies.com/2011/05/17/10-tips-for-saving-money-while-dining-out/

TODDLER TUESDAY! Facts About Potty Training

2011-05-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

Sienna getting used to the potty....

Reading a potty book...

Are you embarking on the potty training phase or in the midst of it? Me too! Well, if you are like me you would like to do this at the right time (and be done with diapers!) but you are slightly overwhelmed. Maybe you aren't sure if your child is ready or when is the right time to bite the bullet and "get er done"! Maybe you are hearing hearing different kinds of advice from your mother in law, friends, and the 50 million online resources and books that are out there! Perhaps knowing the facts will help guide us in the right direction! Here are a few facts that most experts and doctors will agree and also some of the most respected books on the subject.

1. Potty training is not easy for a child. First of all, they need lots of practice and determination to develop the fine motor skills. In addition, they need to change their mindset to be able to recognize their bodily needs and learn what they need to do and how quickly. Although some children seem to catch onto using the potty overnight, most kids take an average of 7 months to be completely trained.

2. The average age for a child to be completely done with diapers in the United States is 39 months for boys and 35 months for girls (that's almost 3 years if you are counting on your fingers!!)

3. Bed wetting is common, even in older children. 10% of kids are still wetting the bed at night by age 7. Nighttime dryness is achieved only when a child's physiology supports this--you can't rush it.

4. Children need to show emotional/developmental signs of readiness before being successful with potty training. This includes being able to pull their pants up and down and showing some interest in using the potty (or wearing big kid pants). Also, if their diaper is often dry after a nap then their starting to show developmental signs of readiness.

5. Power struggles with your toddler will make potty training impossible! Punishments and consequences will make potty training a negative experience instead of a positive one. Set yourself up for success by having support and preparing for accidents.

6. Potty training takes an average of eight months but will vary from child to child. One child can take one month; another might take up to a year or more

7. Children respond to positive motivation during this process. Using motivational tools such as clapping/cheers, stickers or special underwear can be a great motivation for toddlers. Also, special books can make the process fun.

8. Make the potty accessible and easy. Many experts will say children should be naked during the first 3 days or week of potty training and all experts agree that pulling pants/underwear on or off can be a difficult challenge for a toddler in the beginning. Plan to stay home for the first few days. If your bathroom is close to where you and your toddler spend most of your time, think about buying a portable potty. The portable potty can also be helpful when traveling.

9. Potty Training does not have to be difficult. Just like teaching a child to walk, getting rid of the bottle, or ingto talk...potty training can be easy with a little patience and some preparation!

Well, I've spent over 10 hours gathering information. From what I have gathered, potty training is not as complex or difficult as we make it out to be! In fact, I don't think that buying a "how to" book for potty training is necessary! Authors and doctors all seem to agree that it is a natural process that parents have done for years and years and something that we will look back and laugh about when our child is older.

Chances are, your child will not look like this at 35..

Teaching our teens to drive...well, that will be another story! So for now...relax and enjoy the ride!

Simple Sunday! Oneida Silverware Product Review

2011-05-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

Looking for silverware for your toddler that is beautiful, kind to the environment, and practical? Oneida Silverware recently sent me their toddlerware set to review and I have to admit...I love it! I love products that provide balance in my home. As a mother of one toddler and a baby on the way, I look for items that allow life to be easy. I also take into consideration the mark I am leaving on the environment by avoiding using too many disposable products. This set of toddler utensils allows my daughter (and my next daughter!) to have great set of durable, beautiful utensils to use while at the dinner table. I love that we can practice using our "princess mannrers" (saying please, thank you, and may I be excused) while using nice silverware at the table. In addition, using this silverware still allows me to feel good about being kind to the environment. This silverware is really beautiful and inexpensive ($24.99 for a 6 peice set). Check it out here!

http://www.oneida.com/catalog/product/view/id/3399/s/6-piece-progress-set/category/9/

Focus Friday! Transition From One Child to Two...oh no!

2011-05-15T11:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry this post is a little late but better late than never! Life is getting a little crazy with a toddler and one on the way. I seem to be slowing down quite a bit as I am now 30 weeks preggos!! I am so ready for this baby to come but there's lots to think about! Going from one child to two children is quite an undertaking but I'm looking forward to it!
Sienna is now 27 months (2 and 1/4!) We're trying to figure out when to tackle potty training and moving to the "big girl bed". Of course, I have procrastinated both of these tasks but now seems to be the time we need to bite the bullet and "get er done"! So, this weekend we are going to be painting Sienna's new room and start cleaning out the closet to get things organized. My hubby bought some new furniture for her room and luckily he is really talented at refurnishing (so it saves us some money!)
Here's a sneak peek at the "BEFORE"

I will be sure to post some "AFTER" pics as well!

So, the next step is getting Sienna into her big girl bed, then I might tackle potty training after we get back

from vacation (I figure there's no use to go there before our trip to the beach!) I have been starting to really be affectionate and clingy towards Sienna knowing that I won't have the time for her once this new baby comes. I feel bad that she won't be my "baby" anymore! I know she will be fine but of course I am probably more upset than she will be!

Toddler Tuesday! Unique Birthday Party Idea for Boys!

2011-05-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

If you want to throw a unique birthday party at home for your toddler...check out this awesome idea!
I love it!
http://www.hostessblog.com/2011/05/trashing-the-birthday-party-in-style/

Simple Sunday! Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

You work hard every day, enjoy some pampering today!! If your like me, it may feel a little uncomfortable or selfish but it's one day when you can be a princess...so why not enjoy it?!

Focus Friday: Letting Go

2011-05-06T05:11:00.000-07:00

As a stay at home mom, I sometimes find myself being a control freak! I admit it! However, being a confident mom and not being a "nag" is something that is important to me as a mom, wife, and daughter. Also, allowing others to be who they are frees me to focus on things that important to me.

Here's what helps me to let go...

1. Setting Boundaries...If there's an issue that is really bothering me (not the dirty towel that is left on the floor every morning!) then I sit down and discuss it with the person. Since it's something important to me, I am careful to think about how to approach the issue and when to discuss it. Then I state my expectations and negotiate if there's room for negotiation (be reasonable!)

2. Shutting up... Yes, it's that simple! When I find myself wanting to tell my husband what to feed Sienna or how I wash her in the bathtub, I remind myself to let go and trust that he is a good husband and may have an even better method. Even though I think that I am helping by saying how I do things, it often sends a message that I know everything and that I can't trust him. This is a message that can be derogatory toward someone that is trying to help me. Putting faith in others and letting them be who they are is important in any relationship esspecially those closest to me.

3. Going to church....Going to church reminds me that I can't control everything and certain things are out of my hands. Trusting in God helps me to be in the moment and feel confident in what may happen next.

What helps you let go??

Stella and Dot Giveaway!

2011-05-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

Stella and Dot jewlery has quickly become my favorite 'go to' places for jewlery! Since I am pregnant, this jewlery has become my favorite thing to buy (that I will be able to wear long after the baby comes!). In fact, I had a jewlery party and easily earned $144.00 worth of merchandise (which included this awesome charm necklace that I am wearing in the picture above!) If you've never checked out their merchandise, I strongly recommend you check it out since I literally wanted EVERY piece of jewlery in the catalog! www.stelladot.com/nicolewalsh

SO, I recently went to a Stella and Dot party and then decided to have my own party a few weeks later. I gotta say, having a Stella and Dot party was a great way for me to enjoy some girl time and also earn some great jewlery as well. This classic but fun jewlery makes me feel not just like a mom...but like a woman! I know it sounds cliche but having something I can quickly put on with whatever I am wearing that is eye catching really makes me feel beautiful on those long days as a stay at home mom! If you are in the Philadelphia area and are interested in hosting a party like I did, email Nicole at nicolewalshsd@gmail.com!

GIVEAWAY!!!!!!

This is such an awesome opportunity! Nicole Walsh at Stella and Dot has offered to give us jewlery....FOR FREE (in honor of Mother's Day!) How cool is that?! The best part is that the winner of this contest can choose their own peice among the jewlery below (the first one is my fav!)

So....how do you win?

Simply write a comment on the Tickles and Time Outs Facebook page telling us what your favorite thing is about being a mom. In addition, you must become a fan of Stella & Dot - Nicole Walsh, Independent Stylist facebook page and Tickles and Time Outs facebook page....That's it...it's that easy!

The winner will be chosen randomly on Mother's Day (using the good old 'drawing out of a hat' method) Good luck!

In Honor of Mother's Day...

2011-05-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

Check out these great videos with powerful words for all Mother's...

To make you laugh...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYukEAmoMCQ

To make you think...
http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1617258379063624167

To make you cry...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4JFBsmyiFc

To inspire you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpFW4Yhy08k

And here's a picture of Sienna and I at the Royal Wedding party!

Simple Sunday! 4 Reasons to Take Time for Yourself

2011-05-01T17:10:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day is in one week. This year, why not ask for some special time for yourself for Mother's Day? Research has proven that if you take time for yourself you will reap HUGE benefits (and so will your family!) I don't mean sitting on the couch for 15 minutes...I mean getting outside the house and engaging in something you really enjoy. If you don't know what you would do, try something..anything! Here are some reasons why...

1. It will improve your marriage. Many marriage counselors agree that having your own hobby or interests outside the home will improve your relationship with your spouse. Both partners in a marriage need to feel like they still have their own identity and participate in activities that inspire them. If parents start to put kids first and give up everything they did before they had children, they will loose themselves and their marriage will suffer as well. Always make time for yourself (and help your spouse get his time as well).

2. It will make you a better mother. There is a huge misconception that if you are a good mother than you give up everything for your children and always put them first. This is such a misconception becuase self love is important for mothers in many ways. If you take time for yourself, you will be more patient and refreshed when caring for your children and not be resentful toward them. In addition, you are also being a good role model by teaching them healthy habits for taking care of themselves.

3. It will improve your health. This goes along with #2. If you want to be an active participant in your children's life or be around for your grandchildren, you need to take care of yourself. You are worth it and deserve a stress reliever. Taking care of your mind, body, and spirit is essential for keeping up the active pace of motherhood.

4. You deserve it. You work hard, everyone deserves a break! Right?

Focus Fridays! What Can We Learn From the Royal Wedding?

2011-04-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

I have often thought about how ridiculous the princess fairtales are for children and I have wondered how I'm going to raise two daughters to be focused on things other than beauty and not think that a perfect prince charming will sweep them off their feet and make all their dreams come true.

Some of these princess fairy tales seem so hokey to me so I like to also teach my daughter about trains, cars, and how things work.

Balance can allow us the freedom to enjoy many different parts of life. Focusing on physical beauty all the time is a bad thing but teaching our young ladies that true beauty is about kindness, respect, simplicity, and generosity can be a good thing. So, what can we learn from a princess? We can learn good manners, being kind to others, extreme focus, proper care of your belongings, and of course watching the wedding today, a chance at unconditional love and faithfulness.

I know many people think that William and Kate's royal wedding affair seems way over the top (and perhaps it is) but one day of pomp and circumstance for a couple that seems to be truly in love seems like a great thing to me!

Royal Wedding Game

2011-04-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

This is the perfect game for boys and girls of different ages and is perfect for the celebration of the Royal Wedding which is happening this Friday. In addition, this great game helps your child learn the skill of focus while also having a blast!

British soldiers are known for their seriousness and their ability to not be distracted while on duty. Although tourists will try to talk to them or get their attention, these focused and well trained individuals will not move an inch.

Want to join in on the fun? Try this game...
Have one child pretend to be a British soldier while others attempt to make him or her laugh (without touching the "soldier") Test your child to see how long your "soldier" will last without moving, itching, or laughing. If you have more than one person in on the game, try to see who can last the longest.

C'mon Mom, you can join in on this fun game too!

Focus Friday! Earth Day!

2011-04-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

Sienna celebrates Earth Day and begins a special ritual with her Dad planting flowers!

Toddler Tuesday! 3 Steps to an Easy Morning

2011-04-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

As toddlers begin to go through the independent stage, (you know, "Me do it!" "I got it Mommy!") they become a little more difficult to get ready in the morning! Here are a few ways you can avoid these morning struggles.

1. Prepare in the Evening. First, get mentally prepared the night before of what the morning will look like, what you will give your child for breakfast, etc. Lay out your toddlers clothes the night before eliminating the temptation for them to want to go through their closet and pick out their outfit. If you'd like to give them some choices then let them pick out their socks or a choice of only 2 shirts that you already have out. Make it simple for you and for them!

2. Wake up earlier. I know, as if you don't already wake up early enough, right? Even though it's hard to drag yourself out of bed, it will pay off in the long run. Although you can't give your toddler complete independence, letting them try to do some things on their own is an important part of their learning process.
Also, getting up before your child is awake and maybe even having some coffee and can be especially helpful to mentally prepare yourself before the craziness begins.

3. Stick to a routine. Routine is so important for toddlers. Try to be consistant with meals, t.v, and a morning routine as much as you can and most importantly be consistent MOST of the time with any warnings you give. At this stage, it's helpful if your child learns when you really mean the word "No" or when it's OK to challenge you a little.

Simple Sunday! 3 Easy Ways to Get Your Family Focused!

2011-04-17T17:25:00.000-07:00

My martial arts training has given me many tools to make my life easier and happier. Learning to focus effectively has helped my relationships, my work life, and even my health. Here are a few easy ways that you you can provide your children with an environment that is less distracting and more productive.

1. Provide a simple environment. When children are really young, their playtime is their learning time. If we allow them to completely focus on the activity they are doing, they will be more creative and learn more from what they are doing.
Have your children take out a certain number of toys at a time so they are less overwhelmed. (Of course, this also helps make clean up easier!) Be realistic and take into consideration their age and abilities. Use your awesome motherly intuition to figure out how many toys are too many. Watch your child intently to see if they seem overwhelmed and adjust accordingly.

Wondering how to get your teen to focus? Limit thier temptation to socialize with friends by keeping the phone in a certain place where you can see it such as the kitchen counter. However, don't forget to let them have it when they need their socialization time!!

2. Turn off the t.v. Creating an overstimulating environment will make it harder for children to focus in quiet areas (like the classroom). Make it easier for them to focus on whatever it is they are doing such as family dinner, homework, playtime, or reading by turning off the t.v.

3. Avoid giving your children too much caffeine and/or sugar. Giving a child a lot of sugar or caffeine and then expecting them to focus and be in control is not really a fair expectation to ask of your children. Giving them healthy snacks instead will make it easier for them to focus and sit still.

Focus Friday! Bullying Vs. Teasing

2011-04-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

What's the difference between bullying and getting teased? I don't think anyone in this world could tell you that they've never been picked but I believe bullying is another subject entirely. To me, bullying is a reoccurring, relentless act which is extremely harmful to the ego of the person receiving the treatment. However, "getting picked on" is a somewhat normal occurrence because children go through different stages of life where they struggle with communicating their needs and feelings effectively. Bullying is such a sensitive topic that I am treading carefully as to not seem as though bullying should not be taken seriously. However, I do want to share my thoughts about preventing bullying vs. teasing.

So, are we teaching our children the difference between bullying and occasional teasing? Are we giving them proper coping skills to handle these situations effectively? Are we creating a generation of children that believe that getting picked on is bullying and therefore encouraging our kids to look to parents and teachers to address the issue instead of confronting the situation themselves?

Almost every day I hear more stories on the news about bullying. Today I was watching Good Morning America and saw a segment about a woman who paid for her daughter to have reconstructive ear surgery because she didn't want her daughter to be "bullied" about the size of her ears. Have we gone to far in our obsession about bullying? I'm concerned that this child will not have positive self esteem and will eventually find something else that she feels makes her less than everyone else.

There will always be bullies and mean people in this world. Let's face it! However, serious bullying has become a major problem in our schools and communities and has had devastating effects on innocent children. It is not something to be taken lightly. But perhaps we are doing our children a disservice by not defining the difference between bullying and teasing. If we guard our children too much from difficult people than they will not learn coping skills for handing these situations as an adult.

It scares me when parents will do anything to avoid confrontation and then pass this trait on to their children. If we learn to love ourselves completely (no matter what we look like) than we will be happier and more resilient as children and as adults.

Here are some ways we can help our children learn build coping skills when encountering teasing. Using these strategies can even prevent teasing from escalating into being bullied.
Check out this awesome segment on Dateline:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDa9jTgRa0k

Toddler Tuesday! Cool and Easy Easter Craft!

2011-04-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

Check out this fun and easy Easter bunny from my friend at Toddler Craft.com!
http://www.toddlercraft.net/easter-crafts-2/easter-crafts-bunny/

Simple Sunday! Easter Egg Hunt With a Twist

2011-04-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

Easter egg hunts are always a hit with kids this time of year! Try this great game to weigh in on the fun and also encourage kindness among siblings.

1. Buy plastic Easter eggs (or reuse old ones!)

2. Have your children write compliments about their siblings on paper, fold them up, and put them in separate plastic eggs.

3. Hide the Easter Eggs and start the hunt! When the children open the eggs, they will enjoy reading the compliments. Also, if you have more than one kid playing the game it will be fun for the kids to figure out who the compliment is for!

Focus Friday! How to Get Your Kids to Play Games With You

2011-04-08T05:04:00.000-07:00

Does the idea or having a game night with your family conjure up images of fights, talking back and bad moods and something you think only happens on t.v? Do you feel bad for even thinking about how awful it would be? Or do you worry that that your children will say their bored and want to go play video games? Well, don't despair because you are not alone! Many parents feel skeptical about such events and avoid them because they don't know how to deal with challenges or less than perfect results.

First of all, remember that a kid's job is to challenge.  Challenging ideas is how they learn their independence and an important part of development. In fact, most children begin using the word "no" before any other word when they are first learning to talk. Allowing your child use their independence at appropriate times is essential for allowing them to develop their ego and feel in control.  So, when you ask your child if he wants to play a game with you and he says "no" at first, don't be surprised!
Here are some tricks to get things rolling...

1.  Give options. Like I said above, children like to be "in charge" sometimes and part of decision making.  Giving children options is a great way to allow them to feel part of the process. Make sure you think ahead and give options that are realistic and appropriate (and if you are trying to spend quality time, having t.v as an option is probably not a good idea!)

2. Assess the situation. There are times when a child might question if a parent truly wants to spend time with them or has another motive in mind (IE. Dad only wants me to play baseball with me because he wants me to be the best player on the baseball team." or "Mom has been away for work trips and thinks work is more important than me so why is she trying to play with me now?"

I know these thoughts might sting but addressing them (and being honest) is the only way to move forward. If this might be the case for you, get down on your child's level and ask them why they seem unhappy. Avoid a lengthy conversation because they may not be able to identify their feelings but open the door so they are able to talk to you and feel like you care about how they feel. Then, allow your child a chance to feel sad but if possible, play the game anyway so they have to opportunity to jump in when they feel comfortable. Giving them space is often the best way to move forward when there is something troubling them.

3. Expect resistance. Every child is different and every child challenges at different times (especially as they approach the teen years!). Often, it's hard to decide weather your child is just being resistant or being disrespectful. I remember my mom having game night when we were younger and we would roll our eyes and say, "I'd rather be playing with friends!" (but the truth was I really enjoyed myself!) Also, our friends would be jealous and want to come over and participate! Now, we look back with great memories and appreciate those special times with family!
4. Don't go crazy trying to find the PERFECT activity. I have encountered many parents who say, "My child just doesn't like crafts", or "My child doesn't like sports." To me, these statements are a child's way of trying to control the parent. Even though the activity may not be your child's favorite, it doesn't mean they can't enjoy it! Try to keep your child's interest in mind (IE. Making a Dora craft if they like Dora) but don't go crazy trying to please them, the important thing is having quality time together!

5. Avoid punishment. Unless your child is making disrespectful comments, don't give a time out or send them to their room for not wanting to participate in the game. If they do begin making disrepectful comments, give them non emotional warnings, then follow through with consequences (of course, don't forget to follow up with a conversation about what happened following the time out or consequence for behavior).

6. Praise them. After you finish the game or activity with your child, make sure you take a moment or two to put your hand on their shoulder and thank them for the time and let them know you really enjoyed it!  No matter how old your child is, they need to hear these reminders!!

Toddler Tuesday! Planning a Birthday Party on a Budget

2011-04-05T17:01:00.000-07:00

Having a child’s birthday party can be very stressful and frustrating if it’s expensive and chaotic. KEEP IT SIMPLE (and fun!) with my tips to have an awesome party.

Keep your party simpleKids do not need a lot! A change of scenery, their friends, and some cake will almost always ensure a great time!! Remember, knowing that it’s their special day is the fun part of a birthday party (and that is FREE!)

Be preparedThink ahead, make lists and ask for help! Remember, the more prepared you are the easier everything will be when the day comes. I have found that people are more than willing to help if you ask. LISTEN to your child and ask them what they would like! Give some ideas or suggestions to get them started. Have them help with decorating or picking out items to get them excited! Giving them a job (making signs or invitations) can make them feel engaged (and also keep them busy while you do prep work!)

Ask for ideasTalk to other moms about what they have used, what they liked and what they didn’t like. A friend of mine had an idea for a fishing party. She posted a question on her facebook status to see if anyone had any ideas. You wouldn’t believe the amount of ideas and suggestions that came “floating” in (no pun intended!)

Shop efficientlySet a budget and stick to it so you won’t regret spending too much. Remember, fun does NOT = expensive. I promise you! The dollar store and party stores are great places to shop for birthday supplies. Oriental Trading http://www.orientaltrading.com/ is also a great resource. Subscribe to their catalog for great theme ideas and all-in-one stop shopping (and it’s cheap too!) Also, Frugal Family Fun Blog http://www.fruglafamilyfunblog.com/ has some great ideas as well!

Be realistic
If you are not the kind of person who likes hosting a party and you have the money, SEND THE PARTY ELSEWHERE! (No-this does not mean you’re a bad mom!!)
BOUNCE companies are popping up everywhere and kids (and adults) absolutely LOVE these places. These places are essentially an indoor playground of inflated bouncing machines. These places are safe, easy and fun for all. A nearby place offers a complete party for $430.00. This includes up to 25 guests, pizza, cake, t-shirt, invitations and professionals to run the party.

Whatever your child’s interests are (dancing, soccer, martial arts) ask around at the place your child takes lessons or places that offer lessons. NOTE: This can be a great opportunity for your child to find out weather he wants take lessons in that particular thing!

RELAX and ENJOY!
Savor your child’s youth and excitement-it won’t last forever! Take lots of pictures (another thing you can ask someone to do!) and remember that you will someday miss these precious moments.

Do you have more questions or need more help? Check out this great article for more great tips for kid’s birthday party http://www.amazingmoms.com/htm/partytips.htm.

Letting Go of Our Mistakes

2011-04-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

What is a mistake?
A mistake is something that we do by accident. No mistake is ever intentional! I looked mistake up in the dictionary and this is what I found:

MISTAKE - noun
1.
an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
2.
a misunderstanding or misconception.

So, why do we beat ourselves up over the mistakes we make as mothers? Whether we regret something little we have done or something big, we have become experts at holding onto these regrets and beating ourselves up about it.

The way I see it, making a mistake is a good thing. It is an opportunity for us to grow and learn. So why do we hold onto mistakes like they are treasure and don’t want to let them go? The truth is, they can be treasure but only if we choose to learn from our experience. If we don’t learn from them, a mistake can be an anchor keeping us in the same place. Sometimes we make the same mistakes again and again (and that’s o.k) but we are always given the chance to make a change and have a fresh start. The point is, that the mistakes are in the past and we must live in the present or we are only doing ourselves and those around us a disservice. Here's how...
Talk to a friend or therapist. If your having trouble letting go of something that's bothering you, talk to a friend. Even though we must move forward and live in the present, if we ignore our mistakes then we are likely to repeat them.

Journaling. Journaling is a great way to work through a mistake that we are holding onto. When facing these issues, we begin to see the bigger picture and forgive ourselves (or feel less pressure once we share our concern). Often we know the answers to our problems but working through them on paper helps us to process the issue and then let go of it.

Letting Go Box - Research has shown that people have an easier time letting go of problems when they write them down and put them into a box. Whether you are a religous person or not, the physical action of this exercise reminds us that the issue is not longer ours.

Making a mistake is a great opportunity to show our children that no one is perfect and it’s OK if we make a bad choice. Acknowledging our mistakes, asking for forgiveness, and making changes is an important part of life. It’s so amazing to be able to model this to a child and teach them these great lessons so that when they make a mistake they will be able to dust themselves off and keep going without thinking they are a failure.

So, we have covered how we want our children to feel about mistakes but what about ourselves?? Why don’t we start showing ourselves the same kind of love and forgive ourselves for the many mistakes we make???

What other ways can we move forward from our past??

I am having "one of those days"....

2011-03-30T10:23:00.000-07:00

Toddler Tuesday!

2011-03-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

Check out this great song to make your toddler smile!
I love it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5bEbgBBAyU&playnext=1&list=PLAEF9F31D4A32BF38

Simple Sunday! A Date at Church?

2011-03-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

Just like parenting, finding time for your marriage also requires using some creativity!

I was at church this morning with my husband and as crazy as it sounds, it felt like a date! Thankfully, our church provides reliable childcare which gives us a chance to do something together uninterrupted (which is rare these days!) In addition, we were able to focus on something we both believe in together, hold each other's hands, and share in fellowship. Although our intention for going to church was to pray and give our attention to being better Christians, we were also enjoying our time as a couple.

Getting out of the house and getting to church on Sunday mornings is often not an easy task (and I only have one child!) Let me tell you, getting everyone fed, dressed, and out the door by 8:30 (on a day we could all relax instead) takes a lot of effort! However, on a day like today I was really glad we did it!

While at church, I sat in the pew, holding my husband's hand and was actually able to enjoy music and focus on what I was there for. During the next hour, I did not feel like a mom but instead I felt like a wife and an individual (which was exactly what I needed after a long week as a stay at home mom!). Half way through the service, I whispered to my husband "I feel like we're on a date" and he whispers back, “I feel like you make me want to be a better person." WOW! What a special moment in our marriage!

Churches often offer childcare but if you are not a religious person, I encourage you to find ways to make quality time for your relationship! Even though it's easy to put the kids and work first, making the time for a slow dance in your living room, taking a walk, or having sex is so important!

Do you struggle with finding time for each other? How do you use creativity to find time for your marriage?

I want to hear your ideas!

Focus Friday! Our 3 Tips for Engaging Kids in Fun at Home

2011-03-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/multimedia/Mommy_Blogging_Philadelphia-118548999.html

TODDLER TUESDAY: Stop Tantrums Now!

2011-03-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

Tantrums can be very difficult for a parent to tolerate. Believe me, as a pregnant Momma (and a mother of a 2 year old who isn't the most laid back child), I can relate to the frustration of toddler tantrums!

Here's a great article to help you avoid those troubling time! Check it out!
http://pregnant.thebump.com/toddler/toddler-basics-19-to-24-months/qa/how-can-i-keep-my-childs-tantrums-under-control.aspx?cm_ven=Responsys&cm_cat=Newsletter&cm_pla=Parent&cm_ite=March%2022,%202011&MsdVisit=1

SIMPLE SUNDAY! Making Grocery Shopping with Kids Fun...for you and your kids!

2011-03-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, grocery shopping with children in tow can be very challenging....but it doesn't have to be! Preparing ahead of time and using your resources is essential for a drama free and easy trip to the grocery store. Here's how..

1. Use your resources. If a store has a cool race car attached to the front, let your child "drive the cart". If you have a baby in tow, many parents love using a baby carrier to carry the little one.

2. Be prepared. Think ahead and have a plan. Feeding your kids before you go to the store can eliminate feelings of hunger and moodiness. In addition, you may want to bring a small snack in case of emergency. Also, have your kids go to the bathroom before leaving the house. If one of your children is potty training, know where the bathroom is located in the grocery store (and expect that you may have to rush there on a moments notice!). Finally, plan ahead, use a list, and write the items on your grocery list in categories such as aisles or categories.

3. Bribery. Well, not really but everyone responds to earning a reward! It's human nature. Preset your kids with what you expect from them while at the store. If you can, give them a treat like a movie when they get home or take them to the park (if they make good choices). Remember, it does not have to be an edible treat...it can just be time spent with you!! WARNING: If you make a promise, make sure you can follow through if they are good or the whole plan will fly out the window!

4. Keep them busy. Children love being a "special helper", giving them some duties can help keep them occupied and focused on something (other than what they want to do when they get home). Plan an age appropriate game such as finding the best sale or finding the items on your list. Ask them to put things into the cart or be in charge of the calculator depending on their age and abilities.

5. Shop quickly. Consider the expectations you are putting on your child. If you are planning a 2 hour grocery shopping spree, expect your children to get bored, hungry, and probably moody!! Finally, if your child is a more challenging age or stage, save the coupon hunting for a time when you can shop alone!

6. Set boundaries. We've all beeen there...your child is acting out in the grocery store and you inadvertantly reward them with food in order to make it through the store without drama. As tough as it is in the moment, if you have a child who is really acting out, leave your cart and put the child in a time out in the store or take them to the car. Giving your child a time out may make that grocery shopping excursion more difficult but will help make future grocery trips a breeze!

Giving What You Want to Get

2011-03-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

You get what you give. It's a simple but powerful statement when you really think about it. Many of the most inspirational and well known writers have quotes based on this idea.

"The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be a friend."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mr. Stuart, my martial arts teacher and friend, always talks to the kids about giving what you want. He asks the kids in our classes to answer the question, "If you want love, what should you give?" and the kids answer, "Love!" He asks, "If you want people to share with you, what should you do?" and the kids exclaim, "Share!" Then he asks, "If you want people to be honest with you, what should you do?" and the kids would yell, "Be honest with them!"

This lesson, of course, is meant for the kids, however, I have really thought about this message over the years. It is such a simple message, yet so very true! Giving others what you want really helps you get the life that you want. In addition, it creates karma and positive energy. If we show people what we want by giving it to them, we are also surrounding ourselves with people who wish to achieve the same goals that we want.

So, how do we teach our children this important lesson? It's simple. Treat children the same way we want to be treated. When we give our children love, boundaries, and respect, they will learn how to do the same and begin living their life in a similar fashion.

Let's face it, trying to be the role model that we want our children to be can be a very daunting task. We make so many mistakes along the journey of parenthood, however, allowing our children to see some of our shortcomings and then being honest and giving a sincere apology is a great way for them to learn that mistakes happen to everyone and that they help us to grow and be better individuals (if we change our ways). Simply put, showing our children the values we want them to possess by living it is better than telling them what they should do!

Toddler Tuesday: St. Patty's Day Party

2011-03-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

If you want to have some St. Patty's Day fun with your toddler, throw a party and with any luck, they will be having a blast! Here's how...

1. Find an age appropriate craft such as this one..
Here is one of my favorites!
The leprechaun trap

http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/to-catch-a-leprechaun-710897/ Don't be intimidated if this craft seems too complex! All you need is a box and some green paper or a green marker and you can create your own!! I did it last year with the kids that I nannied for and they could not go too sleep because they were so excited to catch the leprechaun! P.S. Don't forget to leave some leprechaun evidence (candy, footprints, or a toy!)

Here's another great craft for the little ones...

St. Patty's Day Greeting Card

http://www.frugalfamilyfunblog.com/2011/03/easy-thumb-printed-shamrocks.html

If you aren't feeling as creative or don't have the materials needed to make these crafts, you can always print fun St. Patty's Day themed coloring paper here..
http://familyfun.go.com/st-patricks-day/st-patricks-day-printables/little-leprechaun-coloring-page-702675/

2. Make an Irish themed snack or meal!
Use your creativity and add some green food coloring to pasta, pudding, or eat mint chocolate chip ice cream! If you have a shamrock cookie cutter you can make shamrock cookies or even shamrock pancakes for breakfast!!

3. Build excitement!
Presenting the party in a fun way is very important! Have older kids make signs for the party and/or play some music for the little ones! You can always find some Irish music on You tube!

4. Prepare a fun game!
Treasure Hunts are always fun! Hide some treasure around your house and then give your child clues to find the treasure! Have fun!

Simple Sunday! Encouraging a Team Approach with Your Spouse

2011-03-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

Although setting boundaries and being direct with your needs is important in fostering teamwork, giving your spouse praise and positive feedback is also essential in maintaining a positive environment in your home.

Do you feel alone in the child rearing process? If so, you're not alone! Many mothers feel like their partners do not do enough or take an active role in the parenting process. A recent study by Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, co-author of the study and assistant professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University suggests that fathers who are given positive feedback by the mothers are likely to be an active participant in the child rearing process.

Many people overlook the power of positivity in a parental relationship, however, it's often the key to fostering a healthier and happier relationship. I know what you are probably saying, "There are days when I really struggle to find one good thing he does because I am so frustrated and overwhelmed." or you may say "I don't even have the time to give my spouse compliments just to get him to do things that he should already be doing!?" Well, the truth is everyone need praise and positive reinforcement, also, it's not very motivating for them to want to help you if all they hear is complaining or asking them to do things.

TRY THIS EXPERIMENT!
Every day, find at least 5 things that your spouse is doing well and make sure you let them know. In addition, give them a touch on the shoulder, kiss, and/or make eye contact. Even if it's the way he kisses your child goodnight or the way he plays with your child, find something through the day that he is good at and let him know you appreciate it. Maybe he took the trash out or cleaned up some clutter....find some positives and start giving compliments. You just might be surprised at the outcome!

Focus Fridays: Finding the Joy in Pregnancy

2011-03-11T10:59:00.000-08:00

You may have wondered why I am half way through my pregnancy and haven't talked very much about pregnancy. The answer is simple. I don't love pregnancy! I am 23 weeks pregnant with my second little girl and we are very excited, however, I have to admit I find pregnancy less than thrilling!

Normally, I consider myself to be a confident woman but when it comes to pregnancy, I really struggle with feeling attractive! I am someone that normally likes to eat a lot but also works out hard to keep the pounds off but when I'm pregnant I feel a lack of control. I picture in my head that a cute pregnant woman is one that is perfectly skinny and looks like she swallowed a beach ball like this

But instead, I am growing at an alarming rate in every direction, my face is breaking out, and I DO NOT feel cute (hence the reason I have not posted any baby bump pictures!) and I often wonder why every pregnant woman looks cute but me?! Then, I feel guilty for not enjoying this wonderful blessing that's been given to me that so many women which they could experience. I want to enjoy pregnancy and feel beautiful...is that too much to ask for?

Do you feel the same way? If so, join me in my challenge to start enjoying this beautiful process! I consider myself to be an optimist and want people to feel good after visiting my site, so in an effort to prevent destroying my marriage and friendships (just kidding....sort of) and to keep from going insane....I am starting my journey in learning to appreciate this special miracle inside me.

SOOO....Let's get started!

Here are a few FUN pregnancy websites that I have found to be uplifting! If you're tired of the same old pregnancy sites that tell you what medicines your shouldn't be taking and what to expect when your expecting....blah, blah, you might enjoy these sites that offer a little more fun!

Evil Genious Woman
http://www.evilgeniuswoman.com/ - This site has funny pregnancy t-shirts to make you smile!

Rent Maternity Wear
https://www.rentmaternitywear.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=51_55&sort=20a&page=2 - If you are planning on atteniding a nice function while your pregnant, this website could be perfect for you!

Pregnancy Fashion
http://pregnancyfashion.sheknows.com/maternity-fashion/how-to-be-a-cute-pregnant-mom/ I really enjoyed this site for maternity fashion ideas and also love checking out what pregnant celebs are wearing!

Baby Gaga
http://www.baby-gaga.com/ - This site offers clever and fun ideas as well as great ways to connect with other woman who share your birth month.

I don't have an i phone but if I did, I would totally download these apps! Check out these recommendations for cool pregnancy apps!
http://www.iphoneness.com/iphone-apps/10-best-pregnancy-iphone-apps-for-mothers/

Bottom line, no matter how much weight you gain or what you feel like, being pregnant really is a beautiful thing! So, why don't you join me in making a pack to start enjoying all the little things that are beautiful about pregnancy? .
Here are a few to start..

Being able to blame your flakiness on "pregnancy brain" and/or your moodiness on the hormones!
Being able to eat more (including having cravings for yummy foods that you MUST have the second you want it!)
Having people smile at you more and hold the door for you!
Getting more affection from your partner (take them up on those food rub offers!)
Bigger boobs (this is a big one for me since I normally don't have boobs!)
Feeling those cool movements in your belly and trying to figure out what body part it was!

Funny Sienna-isms

2011-03-09T11:03:00.000-08:00

Me: "Sienna, are you Irish?"
Sienna: (pointing to her eyelash) "Yes, mommy, I eyelash!"

Toddler Tuesday!

2011-03-08T06:29:00.000-08:00

Sienna is definitely a picky eater! The past 6 months have been a little stressful when it comes to eating, however, I guess my worrying was for nothing because she just went to her two year wellness checkup and got an A+ (how she has been gaining weight I have NO clue!?) Also, she has been eating like a maniac over the past week so I think we've turned a corner and are definitely going through a growth spurt....yipppeeee!!
I think it's definitely helped that we have never made mealtime into a battle ground. If it starts to go in that direction, we pick our battles and either try again later, give a different healthy food as a choice or let her go without (I know it sounds mean but it's sometimes necessary!!)

Here are a few ideas that have helped us through those picky eating stages...

Have a 'yogurt party'

Buy some healthy yogurt (be careful, alot of them are full of sugar!), add some granola, fruit, and even add some sprinkles if you really want to be fun!

Cookie cutters

Use cookie cutter to make sandwiches into fun shapes. Seriously, this is one of the best things!!! All of a sudden, your child will be interested in that hummus or turkey sandwich!

Pasta with Veggies

Mix veggies into pasta. Brocolli and macaroni and cheese is one of Sienna's favorites! Brocolli is great because I can cut it real small and know that she is getting some even if she is picking some out!!

Sweet Potato Fries

Does your toddler like french fries? Cut up sweet potatoes, put a little oil and salt on them, bake it for 20 minutes and your child will love this yummy treat!!

Simple Sunday! How a Diary Can be Your Child's Best Friend

2011-03-06T09:20:00.000-08:00

Writing in a diary (or journal) is a great way for children to learn about themselves and improve their writing skills at the same time. Offer your child a few quiet moments in the morning or evening when they can be alone and collect their thoughts. Writing in a diary is a great way for them to sort through their problems, express their creativity, and build self esteem.

Childhood is such a fun and amazing time for a person. It is a time when a child can learn about who they are, what they enjoy, and what qualities they possess. Giving your child a tool to help them learn about who they are is invaluable and can pave the way to a lifetime of good self esteem. Here are some ideas to get you started.

1. Let them pick out their own journal. Shopping for a special jounal can be a fun activity for you and your child to do together and can engage your child in the process. If your child is more of an online kind of kid, here's a great website http://www.kidjournalz.com/ for them to journal their thoughts online.

2. Create a special space. This can be really fun for kids! Offer your child ideas of where they can create their special space to write in their journal (in their bed, behind a sofa, or even in a closet!). Let them be in control of where they want to be inspired!

3. Do not read your child's diary. Having a safe place to write their thoughts is a great thing that you don't want to sabotage. Respect your child's space and they will be more likely to open up to you when they have a serious problem that they need help with.

I know it's hard to remember what it was like to be a child, but childhood really can be a stressful time for children at times. But if we teach them coping skills, they will develop tools to ease their frustrations and work through their problems without solely depending on others. Obviously, this exercise is not intended to replace talking to you or others about their problems but instead helps them sort out their issues and learn to articulate their thoughts.

Do you need some help to get your child started? Here are some great ideas to initiate the start of a journal.

http://www.journalbuddies.com/