Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Toddler Tuedays: Biggest Mistakes When Giving Time Outs
First, let me say that in all my years working with children, time outs really seem to be the most effective way to give a consequence to a child ages 18 months (depending on maturity) to age 8 (also depends on maturity). Also, let me add that giving time outs as a nanny is MUCH easier than as a mom! However, when done correctly, I really believe that time outs can be an effective tool to teach a child boundaries and set limitations. There are a lot of parents who feel that time outs are a waste of time, however, when parents stick to doing the time outs consistently, they are often successful.
Here are a few of the top mistakes parents often make when giving time outs.
1. Overuse. It's imperative that time outs are reserved for urgent matters (dangerous situations or unacceptable behaviors) There are times when a parent istired exhausted and may use a timeout when responding to a child's behavior that is not necessarily very critical for needing attention (for example whining, not listening, making a mistake). These situations may just call for a reminder or warning instead of a time out. Overusing time outs can lead a child to give up on 'trying to do the right thing'. He or she may feel overwhelmed with demands and "throw in the towel" while trying to meet your expectations.
2. Talking to much. Once you get to the point of a timeout, there's no turning back meaning to discussion. The only thing you need to say is "you need to be in time out" in a stoic/non emotional manner.
3. Giving up too quickly. The initial timeouts are usually the most difficult. Once your child realizes what's expected (and what will be tolerated), they will give up and begin to stay in time out on their own, however, getting to that point can be brutal! I remember picking Sienna up and putting her back in time outs for 45 minutes the first few times I was using it. The good news, you won't have to do this every time. Also, you won't need to go to the gym after this work out!;)
Here are a few of the top mistakes parents often make when giving time outs.
1. Overuse. It's imperative that time outs are reserved for urgent matters (dangerous situations or unacceptable behaviors) There are times when a parent is
2. Talking to much. Once you get to the point of a timeout, there's no turning back meaning to discussion. The only thing you need to say is "you need to be in time out" in a stoic/non emotional manner.
3. Giving up too quickly. The initial timeouts are usually the most difficult. Once your child realizes what's expected (and what will be tolerated), they will give up and begin to stay in time out on their own, however, getting to that point can be brutal! I remember picking Sienna up and putting her back in time outs for 45 minutes the first few times I was using it. The good news, you won't have to do this every time. Also, you won't need to go to the gym after this work out!;)
Monday, February 14, 2011
How Can we Show Love to our Spouse on Valentine's Day?
Valentine's day is the one day a year (aside from your anniversary) when it's important to really take the time to show your significant other how much you appreciate them.
One of the best pieces of advice my husband and I were given when we were expecting my daughter is that we should make the marriage the core of the family (the rock) and build the family on that foundation. I believe this to be true and I constantly remind myself to prioritize his needs as much as my daughters and my own. It's a juggling act but the payoff is really worth it!
I know there are times when people feel like they are in a relationship slump so they don't want to extend themselves for this special day but those are the times when it's most important. Every couple goes through challenging times in their relationship but if we remember to show that we still love each other is very important!
Trista and Ryan were on Rachel Ray today (remember them from the bachelor?). They have 2 little ones now and talked about the struggle balancing every day life with finding time for one another. Also, they participated in the K-Y experiment which gives ideas for intimacy (not just sex!) http://www.k-y.com/. One idea that they mentioned (which I love!) was the idea that couples should hug each other for 30 seconds 3 times a day. A minute and a half is something that is definitely doable for every couple!!
Show love toward your significant other today and of course don't forget the "special" gifts in the bedroom!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
One of the best pieces of advice my husband and I were given when we were expecting my daughter is that we should make the marriage the core of the family (the rock) and build the family on that foundation. I believe this to be true and I constantly remind myself to prioritize his needs as much as my daughters and my own. It's a juggling act but the payoff is really worth it!
I know there are times when people feel like they are in a relationship slump so they don't want to extend themselves for this special day but those are the times when it's most important. Every couple goes through challenging times in their relationship but if we remember to show that we still love each other is very important!
Trista and Ryan were on Rachel Ray today (remember them from the bachelor?). They have 2 little ones now and talked about the struggle balancing every day life with finding time for one another. Also, they participated in the K-Y experiment which gives ideas for intimacy (not just sex!) http://www.k-y.com/. One idea that they mentioned (which I love!) was the idea that couples should hug each other for 30 seconds 3 times a day. A minute and a half is something that is definitely doable for every couple!!
Show love toward your significant other today and of course don't forget the "special" gifts in the bedroom!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Keeping my Identity Alive
How do you stay afloat in the chaos of parenthood? Sometimes, it can be very challenging to keep your head above water and stay sane but preventative care and taking care of yourself really can help to keep your patience and allow you to enjoy family life. Here is one of my favorite things to do and really helps me stay focused and keep my identity.
First, let me tell you that one of my biggest struggles is battling depression. Depression is something that creeps up on me when I'm not looking and rears it's ugly head at the worst moments. It is my worst enemy and something I try to avoid at all costs. I have been on and off medication in the past and wouldn't be surprised if at some time I need to go on it again but if I can avoid it by dealing with my emotions honestly and taking care of myself mentally and physically I believe that I can usually avoid it.
One of the ways I take care of myself mentally is go to a neighborhood bookstore by myself and enjoy some alone time. Let me tell you it is sooo nice! Sometimes I treat my self to a coffee or treat but the real treat is the quiet alone time I get with any reading material I want (plus, I have found the perfect spot in the upstairs corner where I can retreat and enjoy!) My usual routine is to read trashy mags for an hour, then I read a self help book that my therapist recommends for an hour (right now it's Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie which I highly recommend!) You have no idea how much this routine has really helped me get to know myself and enjoy ME. It sounds corny I know but it is so important in order to grow as a person and not just the role of "Sienna's mom and Wayne's husband" (which is the identity I take on my easily).
Another thing that really helps me is blogging!!! Did you know that there are blogs for anything and everything that you could possibly be interested in...tennis, cars, cooking, fashion, fitness....you name it. Here's the best part, you don't have to be tech savvy or rich to do it. Blogger.com offers a free blog hosting site that is so easy to navigate (I think I initially set mine up in the matter of 3 minutes!)
For me, reading and writing about children keeps me motivated and excited so being able to write and exchange ideas is a great outlet for keeping my passion alive. So, I encourage you to take time every week and explore what you enjoy...what do you love??
First, let me tell you that one of my biggest struggles is battling depression. Depression is something that creeps up on me when I'm not looking and rears it's ugly head at the worst moments. It is my worst enemy and something I try to avoid at all costs. I have been on and off medication in the past and wouldn't be surprised if at some time I need to go on it again but if I can avoid it by dealing with my emotions honestly and taking care of myself mentally and physically I believe that I can usually avoid it.
One of the ways I take care of myself mentally is go to a neighborhood bookstore by myself and enjoy some alone time. Let me tell you it is sooo nice! Sometimes I treat my self to a coffee or treat but the real treat is the quiet alone time I get with any reading material I want (plus, I have found the perfect spot in the upstairs corner where I can retreat and enjoy!) My usual routine is to read trashy mags for an hour, then I read a self help book that my therapist recommends for an hour (right now it's Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie which I highly recommend!) You have no idea how much this routine has really helped me get to know myself and enjoy ME. It sounds corny I know but it is so important in order to grow as a person and not just the role of "Sienna's mom and Wayne's husband" (which is the identity I take on my easily).
Another thing that really helps me is blogging!!! Did you know that there are blogs for anything and everything that you could possibly be interested in...tennis, cars, cooking, fashion, fitness....you name it. Here's the best part, you don't have to be tech savvy or rich to do it. Blogger.com offers a free blog hosting site that is so easy to navigate (I think I initially set mine up in the matter of 3 minutes!)
For me, reading and writing about children keeps me motivated and excited so being able to write and exchange ideas is a great outlet for keeping my passion alive. So, I encourage you to take time every week and explore what you enjoy...what do you love??
Monday, February 7, 2011
If you have a teen, here's an article for you...
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/03/teenagers-friends-and-bad-decisions/?src=me&ref=general
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/03/teenagers-friends-and-bad-decisions/?src=me&ref=general
Friday, February 4, 2011
FOCUS FRIDAYS!! How Do You Budget to Enjoy Life and Not Just to Pay Bills?
I remember watching Oprah one day and Oprah said to Will Smith, "It was a lot easier to manage $100.00 a week, wasn't it?" This reminded me that not matter how much money we make, there will always be difficult decisions involved!
My husband used to take care of all the finances; however, recently I've decided to be more involved. Yippee!! First, let me clarify that I want to be more involved not because my husband is not capable of it but I decided that I should know more about what's coming in and where it's going and also take more responsibility for things.
Our finances are a bit complex (rental properties, side business, etc.) so it gets ovoverwhelming at times for my husband to handle it all but unfortunately, the transition toward me being "more involved" hasn't exactly been easy! In recent months, I have made a conscience effort to change my spending habits including shopping less, RARELY eating out, picking up a part time job, and going to the bookstore to read a book for my "me" time (rather than getting a pedicure or going shopping). These changes have been a little bit challenging but definitely a good learning experience for both of us.
We are trying to work together to cut some expenses. We have begun cutting coupons together and comparison shopping with the curriculars and we have managed to save A LOT of money that way. I have attempted to do this in the past but I am not very good at figuring out how much diapers cost per diaper (for example!) in order to figure out how much you are saving!
We also started meeting quarterly to go over our finances...that has not been easy! But in the end, I think it will definitely be a good thing (plus, it's definitely empowering for me!)
Here's the thing...money is power. When you let money control you (which I have always done!), you feel a great sense of chaos and a lack of control. But staying on top of all the medical bills, student loans, and many other issues that come up can also be very overwhelming (especially for one person!). So, I guess the great difficulty is how to budget for enjoying life and not just paying bills? That's the million dollar question and the goal that I think most of us are trying to achieve. I'm hoping that these changes help us to really be real about where our money is going and also spend our money on our future (we started a 401K and 529) instead of spending it on our past!
What ideas do you have? How often do you and your significant other discuss finances? Have you found any particular advice helpful? Please share your thoughts and ideas with us!
My husband used to take care of all the finances; however, recently I've decided to be more involved. Yippee!! First, let me clarify that I want to be more involved not because my husband is not capable of it but I decided that I should know more about what's coming in and where it's going and also take more responsibility for things.
Our finances are a bit complex (rental properties, side business, etc.) so it gets ovoverwhelming at times for my husband to handle it all but unfortunately, the transition toward me being "more involved" hasn't exactly been easy! In recent months, I have made a conscience effort to change my spending habits including shopping less, RARELY eating out, picking up a part time job, and going to the bookstore to read a book for my "me" time (rather than getting a pedicure or going shopping). These changes have been a little bit challenging but definitely a good learning experience for both of us.
We are trying to work together to cut some expenses. We have begun cutting coupons together and comparison shopping with the curriculars and we have managed to save A LOT of money that way. I have attempted to do this in the past but I am not very good at figuring out how much diapers cost per diaper (for example!) in order to figure out how much you are saving!
We also started meeting quarterly to go over our finances...that has not been easy! But in the end, I think it will definitely be a good thing (plus, it's definitely empowering for me!)
Here's the thing...money is power. When you let money control you (which I have always done!), you feel a great sense of chaos and a lack of control. But staying on top of all the medical bills, student loans, and many other issues that come up can also be very overwhelming (especially for one person!). So, I guess the great difficulty is how to budget for enjoying life and not just paying bills? That's the million dollar question and the goal that I think most of us are trying to achieve. I'm hoping that these changes help us to really be real about where our money is going and also spend our money on our future (we started a 401K and 529) instead of spending it on our past!
What ideas do you have? How often do you and your significant other discuss finances? Have you found any particular advice helpful? Please share your thoughts and ideas with us!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Winter Fun!
Getting cabin fever?! Friday marks the halfway point through winter, so hang on....Spring is on it's way!
SHADOW GAMES
What you need:
A dark room
Flashlight or a night light (or anything that lights up!)
This game is simple! Turn out the lights and take out a flashlight (or any light source) and play with shadows. Use your hands and fingers to make animals on the wall! Another idea? Does your child have a light projector that you used on their crib when they were a baby? This can be a great toy in a dark room (especially if your child hasn't seen it in a long time!)
If your toddler is a bit older, you can make a ground hog puppet with a brown paper bag and then play with the shadows. This project can be as simple or clever as you want it to be! Enjoy!
They can! This holiday is fun, festive and lively! Did you know each year a child is born represents an animal in the Chinese culture? This is a great chance for your child to learn about animals!
Check out this website for some great coloring printouts and some cool games
http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/chinese_new_year.htm
Groundhog Day Fun
Groundhogs Day can be great fun for toddlers! Check out these fun activities you can do with your kids to engage them and participate in this fun holiday! SHADOW GAMES
What you need:
A dark room
Flashlight or a night light (or anything that lights up!)
This game is simple! Turn out the lights and take out a flashlight (or any light source) and play with shadows. Use your hands and fingers to make animals on the wall! Another idea? Does your child have a light projector that you used on their crib when they were a baby? This can be a great toy in a dark room (especially if your child hasn't seen it in a long time!)
GROUNDHOG PUPPET
What you need:
-Brown paper bag
-Any embellishments (markers, googly eyes, yarn, etc)
If your toddler is a bit older, you can make a ground hog puppet with a brown paper bag and then play with the shadows. This project can be as simple or clever as you want it to be! Enjoy!
Chinese New Year Fun
The Chinese celebrate the Chinese new year on Wednesday. It's a huge celebration where even the kids get in on the fun....so why can't American kids have some fun too?? They can! This holiday is fun, festive and lively! Did you know each year a child is born represents an animal in the Chinese culture? This is a great chance for your child to learn about animals!
Check out this website for some great coloring printouts and some cool games
http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/chinese_new_year.htm
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