Too Many Chiefs, Not Enough Indians

Sienna (my 4 year old) has recently been having problems with the other kids I take of during the day-arguing, getting frustrated, etc.  I have been trying to figure out the problem and why this is occurring.  Then I went to a parent teacher conference with her preschool teacher and asked her teacher if she had seen these problems with Sienna at school.  She said no and then asked me if the other kids were 'leader type personalities'.  Then it sunk in with me! Sienna and her friend are both leaders and sometimes I think that gets in the way of playing together.  SO, now I'm on a mission to try to help Sienna to learn to be an Indian (and maybe me too! :)  as well as just accept their personalities and desire to be in charge.  It makes me think...being a leader is great but when is it better to be an Indian? 
Funny thing is I have given one of my very best friend, Nicole, the endearing nickname 'leader' because she is always the one to start initiatives and make things happen when we are together as a group!  She organized our shore house and tends to be the one to send out many of the girls night get together emails.  Being a leader is a great quality, and even though I consider myself a leader as well we both seem to be on the same page (and don't butt heads very often).  I tend to have a lot of ideas and she tends to make things happen with a plan. 
Watching young girls playing is very interesting because they start so young being the one who is the "mom".  I definitely think being a leader is an innate characteristic but it can be influenced by others. Being aware of your child's personality can help you understand why he or she gets frustrated and how to help them communicate effectively with others.