It has happened quite often that I find myself stressing, fighting, or rearranging schedules to AVOID drama in the family and I end up creating my own!!! How did i end up all stressed out about this situation (I often ask myself) and yet the person or people that I am trying to avoid are actually enjoying their holiday while I'm upset sitting in the corner feeling sorry for myself!! Why do we do this to ourselves?
The answer is that it is a habit! Maybe you grew up with these dynamics and are used to these situations. But the good news is that there are ways that we can change these habits. It might feel a little uncomfortable at first but if we draw healthy boundaries we create the life we want (BONUS: people will gain a new respect for you!)
So this holiday season, why dance around other people's feelings and then let the "good 'ol resentment" build inside of us? It is possible to be kind but set boundaries (it's called being kind to yourself and your family!)So....you don't like going to your in laws every year for Thanksgiving? Change it to every OTHER year! Feel anxiety about your cousin being disrespectful in your home? Talk to them about it and decide if it's a good idea them to be there! Do you hate doing all the dishes while everyone watches the football game? Ask someone to help you then sit your hiney in a chair!
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