Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Finding Gumption...how blogging saved my life

Here's how I found Gumption and how blogging saved my life.

2 years ago...in the blink of an eye, my whole life changed.
My marriage was ending and as I looked into the eyes of these 2 beautiful little girls...

I was filled with FEAR...
Fear of ruining their lives.
Fear of raising my children in a broken home.
Fear of not being able to provide a home for them with one income.
Fear of not being able to wake up every day and face these challenges while giving them love and teaching them about life and the amazing things life offers.

I knew one day they would ask me, "Mommy, what happened? Why did you and Daddy divorce?" How could I look into their eyes and face the fact that the 2 people they love most in this whole world weren't able to save their marriage? How do I face the fact that they are now a statistic and are going to be bounced around from house to house?

I had been a stay at home mom with them for 3 years and I had no idea if I'd be able to continue this life for them (staying home with me) and I had no idea how I would be able to make it on my own. There were times when my life was so dark, I didn't want to get out of bed.  I couldn't find the energy to face my daily chores and I didn't have the ability to see more than 2 feet in front of me.  It was all I could do to make it through the day...at times I literally lived one hour at a time just to make it through.   
When Sienna was first born in 2009, I started a blog (at the time it was Simply Sienna).  This blog was my outlet to the isolated world I was living in at the time.  I was home with a newborn day and night.  I started writing and uncovered a passion and talent that I never knew I had. I soon started connecting with local bloggers and experts and making a community of friendships online.  But what I learned most was that my blog was a platform for me to express my creativity and develop my self worth.

Fast forward to 2012 (after the separation) I began writing like crazy. Through my blog, I began evolving. Not as a mom.  Not as a wife.  But for the first time as a PERSON.

What I uncovered deep in my soul was GUMPTION-the ability to use my resources effectively and the courage to make things happen.  Without my blog, my readers, and my blogging community I have no idea where I would be today!

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