Saturday, March 19, 2011

Giving What You Want to Get

You get what you give. It's a simple but powerful statement when you really think about it.  Many of the most inspirational and well known writers have quotes based on this idea.

"The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be a friend."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Mr. Stuart, my martial arts teacher and friend, always talks to the kids about giving what you want.  He asks the kids in our classes to answer the question, "If you want love, what should you give?" and the kids answer, "Love!"  He asks, "If you want people to share with you, what should you do?" and the kids exclaim, "Share!"  Then he asks, "If you want people to be honest with you, what should you do?" and the kids would yell, "Be honest with them!"
This lesson, of course, is meant for the kids, however, I have really thought about this message over the years.  It is such a simple message, yet so very true!  Giving others what you want really helps you get the life that you want.  In addition, it creates karma and positive energy.  If we show people what we want by giving it to them, we are also surrounding ourselves with people who wish to achieve the same goals that we want. 

So, how do we teach our children this important lesson? It's simple.  Treat children the same way we want to be treated.  When we give our children love, boundaries, and respect, they will learn how to do the same and begin living their life in a similar fashion.

Let's face it, trying to be the role model that we want our children to be can be a very daunting task.  We make so many mistakes along the journey of parenthood, however, allowing our children to see some of our shortcomings and then being honest and giving a sincere apology is a great way for them to learn that mistakes happen to everyone and that they help us to grow and be better individuals (if we change our ways).  Simply put, showing our children the values we want them to possess by living it is better than telling them what they should do!

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