Sunday, April 3, 2011

Letting Go of Our Mistakes


What is a mistake?
A mistake is something that we do by accident. No mistake is ever intentional! I looked mistake up in the dictionary and this is what I found:

MISTAKE - noun
1.
an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
2.
a misunderstanding or misconception.

So, why do we beat ourselves up over the mistakes we make as mothers? Whether we regret something little we have done or something big, we have become experts at holding onto these regrets and beating ourselves up about it.

The way I see it, making a mistake is a good thing. It is an opportunity for us to grow and learn. So why do we hold onto mistakes like they are treasure and don’t want to let them go? The truth is, they can be treasure but only if we choose to learn from our experience. If we don’t learn from them, a mistake can be an anchor keeping us in the same place. Sometimes we make the same mistakes again and again (and that’s o.k) but we are always given the chance to make a change and have a fresh start. The point is, that the mistakes are in the past and we must live in the present or we are only doing ourselves and those around us a disservice.  Here's how...
Talk to a friend or therapist.  If your having trouble letting go of something that's bothering you, talk to a friend.  Even though we must move forward and live in the present,  if we ignore our mistakes then we are likely to repeat them. 

Journaling.  Journaling is a great way to work through a mistake that we are holding onto. When facing these issues, we begin to see the bigger picture and forgive ourselves (or feel less pressure once we share our concern).  Often we know the answers to our problems but working through them on paper helps us to process the issue and then let go of it.

Letting Go Box - Research has shown that people have an easier time letting go of problems when they write them down and put them into a box.  Whether you are a religous person or not, the physical action of this exercise reminds us that the issue is not longer ours.
Making a mistake is a great opportunity to show our children that no one is perfect and it’s OK if we make a bad choice. Acknowledging our mistakes, asking for forgiveness, and making changes is an important part of life. It’s so amazing to be able to model this to a child and teach them these great lessons so that when they make a mistake they will be able to dust themselves off and keep going without thinking they are a failure.

So, we have covered how we want our children to feel about mistakes but what about ourselves?? Why don’t we start showing ourselves the same kind of love and forgive ourselves for the many mistakes we make???


What other ways can we move forward from our past??

No comments:

Post a Comment