Friday, December 16, 2011

Avoiding Power Struggles

I have learned this lesson so many times and yet I continue to fall in the trap.  You know the deal, there are many sayings that basically give the same message..."it takes 2 to tango" "letting someone live in your head rent free" or my favorite, "never wrestle with a pig in the mud, you will get dirty and the pig will like it."  All of these sayings have the same message, you can choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution!  So, what does this mean for you as a parent?  We have choices!
Recently in the media, the producer of Two and a Half Men, Chuck Lorre, did his first interview since Charlie Sheen was fired.  Despite all the drama that Charlie Sheen created in the media about the "feud" between him and Lorre, I was shocked to hear that Lorre believed there was no feud among him and Charlie Sheen.  He fired Sheen and then continued with the show, never trying to mend the situation or clear the air.  Basically, there was no air to clear because Lorre was focusing on other things.  The feud was one that Sheen was having with himself! He could have chosen to be part of the drama Sheen was creating but instead he choose to step aside and focus other things.  I think this is a great lesson for us all! SO, how can this be a lesson to parents?
Children often create "drama" to get attention or to avoid something they don't want to do.  Basically, we have the choice as parents to argue or not to argue.
It takes two people to argue and children will argue if they can (or because they can):) Of course, some arguing (or discussing) is inevitable, but remember that children often do things because they CAN and if you participate than you may be contributing to the problem instead of the solution!  The next time you find yourself in an argument with your child, try to figure out another way to solve the problem or evaluate your role in the situation!  Sometimes, it really does take 2 to tango!

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