Friday, June 27, 2014

God, I need you.

Today is Friday which means I should be happy about the start of the weekend but I'm just not.  This morning was really tough.  There's a lot going on with family members right now.  Sienna was whining from the time she woke up and I was not being patient with her at all. I yelled screamed at her in the car this morning and feel horrible about it.  Jacklyn has a non stop cough which probably means she will get an ear infection and I'll have to take time of work.  Money is tight...bills are coming in and life is just stressful right now.  Sienna says "Mommy, you don't love me!" while all that is going through my head is how to provide for her, how to feed her healthy food, how to discipline her effectively, how to give her a nice, clean home, how to have a career that makes sense for our family, and most importantly how to give my undivided attention when she needs it without feeling like I'm pulled in a million directions.
I know it will get better....it always does.  But when you're a single mom you just wish someone could be in the driver's seat for ONE minute.  I would pay for someone to just drive me around the block so I'm not responsible for everything.  I guess that's when my faith comes in.
God, I need you.

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